The Crossroads
by Gerald Tarrant
Summary: Tomo and Soi embark on a journey that may change their lives.
1. Foreward

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
**FOREWARD**

Portrayed as antagonists in both the manga and the anime, constantly at each other's throats, rivals for the same lover. The Seiryuu seishi Tomo and Soi are different as night and day, black and white, male and female. Fanworks have seen them battle, call truce, cry, laugh, and interact with each other in deeper ways than the original _Fushigi Yuugi_ ever touched upon. 

What if, then, Tomo and Soi were asked to be partners on a mission from which neither has just cause from which to decline?

_The Crossroads_, or "San Cha Kou," is a Chinese Opera written about the journey and adventures of two Chinese soldiers and a devious innkeeper at an inn located where three roads meet. This story of two Seiryuu seishi is based off that opera. On their reluctant mission, Tomo and Soi will discover that at the crossroads of life, love, and destiny, there is only one destination.


	2. Scene 1: The Road

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** YI::SCENE I**  
Ma Lu  
The Road

_The officer Chiao Tsan, unjustly convicted of a crime, is sent to prison by order of the commanding general. During his transportation from one jail to another, one of his superiors becomes concerned for Chiao Tsan's safety. He dispatches Zan Ton Quai, a young officer, to protect him, with careful instructions to conceal his mission from Chiao Tsan and his guards._

**Xia Yu  
Raining**

It was raining when I set out that morning, and it seemed strangely appropriate. For it to be raining, that is. Not that I was setting out in the morning, before the sun had even risen, in the cool freezing pre-dawn darkness that Kutou is so famous-or infamous-for. Not the fact that I had been informed of this latest and greatest development in the plans of the shogun of Kutou merely three days before. Not the fact that I was to accompany one of the last people on the face of the earth that I would prefer to spend any amount of time with, much less a long journey.  
So it was strangely appropriate for the weather to be gray, drizzly, and downright uncomfortable.  
I pulled the hood of my cloak up and stepped out into the dripping air, feeling the droplets splatter and roll down my head and back and shoulders. The horses were having a hard time, I could see. The rain-slick stone was wet and shone faintly in the gray mist that had accompanied the unpleasant drizzle into the vicinity.  
The Kutou soldiers lifting my bags up onto the saddle and securing them firmly had at least remembered to wrap everything in thick cloths. It would not be good if my clothes or belongings were soaked through the first day of the journey. Especially not when the journey was as long as our fearless leader made it out to be.  
Any thoughts of that fearless leader that trickled into my brain I angrily grabbed and filed back into the corner of my mind that dealt with such things. Not now. Of all times, not now to think of him.  
To think of his voice in the darkness as he outlined my next mission with precise detailed explanation and facts.  
To think of the touch of his hand as he told me I would be leaving in three days.  
To think of the cold distance of his blue eyes as he told me who my traveling companion was to be.  
To think of the warmth of his breath as he kissed me goodbye, kissing me with ordered efficiency, as if it were just another task to be carried out in the progress of the day.  
I rubbed my lips hard even as I realized I was thinking the very things I had vowed not to think until the mission was over.  
I wasn't doing a very good job at keeping my word, was I?  
Behind me was the dark bulk of the Kutou palace, its orderly towers and curved rooftops seemingly frozen in midmotion as the rain beat down on them in slick rhythms, the buildings as a whole looking squat and misshapen rather than graceful as the designer had probably wanted them to look. The courtyard was large and vast, white stone marred by centuries of assault by the elements and footsteps of royalty and subjects alike.  
Nakago once told me that death makes fools of royalty and subjects all.  
I wouldn't think about that.  
The two horses stamped nervously, manes and tails flicking in the wind. Briefly I wondered if maybe Nakago would change his mind, have us come out of the rain and leave later in the day, or maybe tomorrow when the weather was not as bad and the roads were not as muddy. It wasn't safe, traveling in weather like this. Bandits and other criminals I could handle. Rain I could not. My power was to make lightning and storms, not to drive them away. Ironic.  
But Nakago would never do that. Not even for me.  
The soldiers secured the last pack, swords clinking as they stepped away from the two steeds, rain running off their armor in silver rivulets. I motioned to the captain and he stepped towards me, bowing low.  
"Soi-sama, if you are ready to depart-?"  
"You have everything?"  
"Yes, Soi-sama. Four bags for you, provisions, food, clothes, as you asked. Three bags for-"  
I waved the rest of his sentence aside. "Fair enough. Get inside out of the rain before you become ill."  
The captain bowed again and gestured to the two lower ranking foot soldiers who followed him. I watched as they made their way to shelter, strangely jealous of a common soldier. I was a Seiryuu shichi seshi, blessed by the god himself…and yet sometimes when it came to a crossroads like this I would not hesitate to step down and to be looked over.  
Just for a little while.  
I sighed as the soldiers disappeared around the corner. Where was he? He said he would meet me in the courtyard after he had completed his last minute "preparations," whatever those were. I didn't want to know.  
Traveling with him was going to be interesting. I wondered if we could manage to ignore each other for the whole duration of the journey.  
Footsteps made me turn. He was striding towards me, a small bag thrown over his shoulder, his hood pulled up and his normal bulky outfit exchanged for a more suitable riding one. I glanced surreptitiously under the hood. Of course. Painted as always.  
"You're late," I said as he appraoched me.  
He did not respond, glancing my way with some disdain, tying the bag to the saddle and vaulting onto the horse's back with the skill of a natural rider.  
"Whenever you are ready, Soi."  
I ground my teeth. "You were painting your face, weren't you?" He didn't respond. "Damn it, Tomo. You can't paint it while we're en route. It takes hours. Besides it's raining."  
"I noticed." His dry voice gave away nothing. If he was annoyed, he hid it well.  
I gave up, swinging myself onto the horse's back. "Let's go, Tomo."  
I let him lead as we trotted out of the courtyard. If I had taken the lead first, he would have overtaken me in a minute anyway.  
Tomo was like that.  
Seiryuu help us…it was going to be a long journey.

  
**Qi Ma  
Riding Horseback**

I could see the disapproval on her face when I emerged from the shelter of the palace with my face painted, my cosmetics bag over my shoulder. Not that it bothered me. If I let Soi get under my skin, I would be going crazy by now.  
I was taking a chance by painting it, I knew. The pain would wash off on instant contact with water, and the rain wasn't doing much good. Still, I'd be damned if I let her see me without my face painted. It wasn't much a mark of vanity as it was of pride. I had never gone a day without painting it, and I was not about to start now.  
I had been surprised when Nakago said he wanted to see me. I had been even more surprised when he told me the nature of the mission. I wasn't surprised when he said I would be accompanying Soi…after all she was the one he usually sent out for these types of things, for some reason, perhaps for the simple reason that they were lovers.  
I found that ironic, that he would send out one he loved on the missions where death was most likely.  
The weather was cold and I was glad I had worn a warm cloak. The horses had long slowed to a walk and I picked my way carefully between puddles of muddy water and loose rocks on the road. The capital of Kutou was asleep, still, before the sunrise. If there was to be any sunrise at all-judging from the looks of the weather, I doubted it.  
I had never liked the sunrise. It was too bright, too eternally optimistic.  
I preferred the flaming descent of sunset and the oncoming of the night.  
Mentally, I calculated on my fingers. It would take us only a little more time to reach the walls of the city, and from then on we would have to go through the forest to reach the mountain regions. Not an ideal route, but it was the quickest way there and back.  
I hoped Nakago had taken into account any dangers that would befall us on the way.  
_Why did you choose me, Nakago-sama?_  
I remember asking him that, before he dismissed me with my orders and my destination in mind. Why did he choose me? Surely not because he trusted me. I was no fool…Nakago trusted no one, the same as I trusted no one. He knew, as I knew, it was easier that way.  
_Why not?_  
Why not, indeed? It was the same answer I would have given, had I been in his place. We were more alike that both of us realized. I wonder if he knew that.  
The city wall came into sight before long and we passed under the huge arch, hooves hollow and echoing on the flagstones. The gates had been beautiful once, before wind and rain and sun had worn away the sharpness and newness of its carved magnificence. The fangs of the snarling dragons were blunt now, the ornamental corners worn down.  
Were we to be reduced to worn down ornaments also? Until we were too tired and marked by the elements to be any good?  
My voice master had been a large man with greasy hair, who had played the role of jing also in the Opera. I remember sitting for hours in his darkened tent, straining my voice until I was hoarse, trying to imitate the high notes which he reached with such ease.  
_Strain it, boy,_ he would say. _Strain it. Any product of quality must be broken and cracked, again and again, before it is rebuilt and ready to be used._  
Broken and cracked…Nakago-sama would like that.  
I knew Soi was looking back at the retreating walls, but I kept my head resolutely forward, not letting myself gaze once more upon the city that was disappearing into the mist like one of my many illusions. That's all it was-illusion.  
Nakago always laughed at me, whenever I lapsed into one of my moods. _Illusion, Tomo?_ he would say. _If everything is an illusion, then who is the one creating the illusion? What is reality then?_  
I knew what his reality was. He was firmly grounded on the earth, his dreams of power and glory the same as mine, but while I knew mine for what they were, he actually believed that his would come true. I had never bothered to explain to him that illusion came in many forms, and the most painful illusion of all was the illusion of life.  
Of course he would have laughed at me anyway if I told him.  
Life to Nakago was simple.  
I wished I could school my mind like his, bent and focused on one goal alone, driving towards it with a reckless fury, sweeping down everyone and everything in his path that dared stand in his way. I wished I could be as beautifully cruel as he and not even realize it was so. It was an art, his style of cruelty, a form of beauty, and I had always had a weakness for art and beauty.  
As he probably knew.  
Behind me, Soi stirred on her horse. "I hope you have an inkling of an idea of where we're going, Tomo. It's too wet to get lost." When I didn't responed, she spurred the horse to my side, peering under my hood. "Tomo, are you listening to me?"  
I smirked, though she couldn't see me. "Trust me, woman."  
"That'll be the day," she shot back. I didn't answer. Why should I?  
I answered when I wanted to, listened when I wanted to. I could always break the illusion.  
I was, after all, the master of illusion.

  
**Wang Bei  
Towards the North**

I clamped my mouth shut, though his insulting tone was just inviting an argument. He was doing it on purpose, I knew, trying to break me before we had even started our journey. Infuriating.  
I could never understand Tomo. He was always so quiet, so seemingly aloof. I already knew he was sardonic and caustic. It was interesting to watch him and Nakago interact, how their conversations were like a dance, a lesson in acrobatics or perhaps a fencing match with words.  
I wondered if either of them realized how alike they were.  
Nakago would probably deny it in his cold voice, and Tomo would cackle. He always cackled. I always wondered if it was an involuntary reaction, if he realized he was doing it, or if he just did it to get on my nerves. Because that was what he was always doing-getting on my nerves. I never could see how Nakago could stand having him around, much less giving him important things to do. Then again, the important things got him out of the palace and away from my sight, so it was maybe better that way.  
Trust Nakago to think of the good solutions to problems other people were having.  
Nakago…  
I wouldn't think about him.  
I glued my eyes firmly to the road in front of me. It had turned into dirt now, a wide dirt highway quickly oozing its way towards becoming sticky mud. The horses were well-shod, yet if one lost a shoe to the mud there was nowhere we could have them reshod until we reached one of the larger cities beyond the forest we were about to enter.  
Ahead of me, Tomo sat tall and unmoving on his horse, covered by his long thick cloak like an ebony statue. I wondered if he had his headdress on under the thick material. Probably. Knowing Tomo, he would be too vain to leave that behind. Just as he was too vain to leave the makeup off when we were in a hurry to leave.  
He was all illusion, Tomo, all vapor and mist and no substance. For all his rants about illusion and the world coming to an end, he was no better than the people he complained so bitterly about. Basically, he was no better than I was.  
I allowed a small smile at that. I could never see how he got his superiority complex in the first place. Wearing caked on makeup, horrid costumes, and flaring headpieces never made anyone superior to anyone else.  
According to Nakago, it would take five days to travel through the forest, providing we stayed to the worn north road made by merchants and other travelers. The forest was not dangerous but it was large and dark, and he had warned us to stay together, no matter what arguments we might have. After the forest were several villages before we reached the mountains, where our true objective lay.  
It made me wonder what would pull us apart more quickly: the forest or the arguments.  
He should have known better than to have us go both together. No, that wasn't true. I knew why he wanted us to go together-two of the most powerful seishi would get the job done more quickly and quietly than a seishi and a handful of soldiers, or a whole group of seishi. He knew very well how I disliked Tomo, yet Nakago was a soldier, and he would never allow personal feelings to get in the way of efficiency.  
I didn't know if I should love him or hate him for that now.  
The silence was starting to weigh on my shoulders. I wasn't used to long periods of silence. Before…before he found me, there was the forced laughter, the loud rough voices of too drunken men and the screams and moans through the thin walls. After that there had always been sound, servants chattering, the twins chasing each other through the halls of the palace, birds and insects and various other background noises that reminded me I wasn't alone.  
But now with the rain puddling down and the splash and squish of horse hooves, I felt very much alone. The silent figure in front of me wasn't helping.  
"Tomo?"  
Silence. I sighed. I might as well not even try.  
"Yes?"  
I blinked. He had answered me. I searched my brain for what I was going to say, not even sure if I had anything specific in mind.  
"Nothing."  
He cackled softly. "Nothing to say?"  
"I was just-" Why was I even telling him this? "It was too quiet, that's all."  
"I see."  
We lapsed back into stiff silence, the wind picking up a bit and swirling bits of soaked grass and clumps of mud into the air. Five days through the forest, three to the mountains. And then it would be over, hopefully.  
_Hopefully_ being the keyword.  
I hoped Nakago remembered to pray to Seiryuu for us. We would need it. 


	3. Scene 2: The Forest

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** ER::SCENE II**  
Sen Lin  
The Forest

_Zan Ton Quai secretly follows Chiao Tsan's transport through the wilderness, according to the orders given to him by his commanding officer._

**Di Yi Tian  
Day One**

We entered the forest slightly after what passed for sunrise, in the rain. The weather was slightly better once we were under cover of the trees, since very little rain passed through the canopy of leaves, but the damp mugginess and odor of wet decaying things was little better. I pulled my cloak closer around me, trying to breathe in the familiar smell of the perfumes of the palace and not concentrate on the trees.  
Tomo had dropped his pace a little so that we now rode side by side. I wasn't sure if I liked this latest development. It had been better when he had been in the front…at least I hadn't felt the constant need to talk to him then. Riding by his side I felt the silence press down upon us. The dripping of rain through the branches was the only audible noise. The horses' hooves were muffled on the wet leaves of the path.  
I glanced sideways at him through my hood. I couldn't see his face, as his own hood was pulled up to obscure his features and probably protect his facepaint from the rain. He wore riding gloves which covered his slender hands and long nails. If he had taken off the gloves, someone from far away could probably have mistaken him for a woman.  
"What are you looking at, Soi?"  
I jumped guiltily, a naughty child being caught in the act. "Nothing."  
He didn't even bother to cackle, lapsing back into moody silence, probably running over in his mind a litany against the illusion of speech or trees or whatever he liked to think about while riding around in a forest.  
I fidgeted. I hated silence. I glanced over at him, making it plain I was looking at him, talking to him, saying the first thing that came to my mind.  
"What are you thinking about?"  
He cackled. "Prayers for the dead."  
Never mind.  
He took in my silence and cackled again, softly, raising one gloved hand to straighten a fold in his cloak. All his movements were graceful, precise, like a dancer's. I wondered how good an opera performer he had been. True, the traveling troupes of operas and dancers were not exactly condoned in Kutou, but when I had been a little girl, they had been the only thing I looked forward to, the only bright spot in my bleak existence.  
Maybe he had come by once and I had watched him perform without even knowing it was him.

  
We made good time in the forest, eating a brief luncheon on horseback while continuing on. I wanted to get out of this oppressive canopy of trees as soon as possible.  
Soi made brief attempts to engage me in conversation, though I made it clear again and again I would rather ride in silence. It must be a female thing, to be constantly talking. She was one of the few females I had ever met, since females were not allowed in the troupe as a general rule.  
Maybe if they had…  
The rain stopped by evening and the sun came out, glancing red and orange through the tangled branches. My head was starting to hurt and I could tell I was going to be sore tomorrow. I had not ridden horseback for a long time, and even then never for this long and this far. Of course, I would never tell Soi that.  
"Look," her voice came from behind me. "Isn't it beautiful?"  
"What?" I growled.  
"The sunshine…through the raindrops. It's like a rainbow." Her voice was strangely gentle, reflective. "Don't you think so?"  
I didn't answer.  
I heard her sigh behind me and then lapse into silence once more. It was a strangely uncomfortable silence…I supposed the silences before that had been uncomfortable too, but I attributed that to the weather and the rain. But still the awkwardness lingered with the sun. I'd always been comfortable with silence but now it was like a gnawing inside me…as if it was imperative I broke the silence and talked about something. Anything.   
I hated feeling controlled by forces that I could not fathom.   
The sun went down behind the trees and I could barely see the ground in front of me. The moon was rising, but with the thick canopy above, very little light filtered through. It was like traveling through a dark and endless tunnel. Endless.  
"Tomo, shouldn't we stop soon?"  
"Soon," I said, my voice sounding tired in my own ears. Damn. Maybe she would not notice.  
But of course she did, pulling her horse up to mine. "Tomo, are you all right?"  
"Leave off, woman," I said, trying to sound harsh and demanding. "My health is no concern of yours."  
"I am not traveling with a companion who pushes himself to death," she said. I was suddenly glad for the cover of night that cloaked her face and mine as she tried to look under my hood.  
I felt a slim hand on my shoulder, moving up towards the hood of my cloak, and reflexes snapped before thought took hold. My hand whipped out and caught her on the jaw. With a muffled cry she let her hand go. I reined in my horse, looking over. By some miracle she was still on the horse, one hand holding her jaw and one hand tangled in its mane.  
"What the hell was that for?" she snarled.  
When I spoke, my voice was cool. "I wish for no one to touch me. That includes Seiryuu seishi."  
She didn't respond. In silence we resumed the pace, in silence that was much more heavy and awkward than before.  
"We will stop here tonight," I said, my voice breaking the silence like a whip. She didn't answer but I could feel her getting off the horse. Her hand was still rubbing her jaw.  
I didn't think I hit her that hard, on pure reflex and with no intent. Still, it was hard to tell. No one had touched me in a long time, and every touch reminded me of _them._  
She would probably not speak to me again, after that. All well and good.  
After all, I didn't need human contact anyway.

  
I watched him as we rolled out our blankets. The ground was muddy and wet in the light of my small lamp, but I didn't care. I had not traveled on horseback in a long time…I would probably be sore tomorrow. Of course Tomo probably would laugh. I couldn't imagine him getting sore or tired.   
He had certainly sounded tired…I had only wanted to soothe his headache. I knew the correct pressure points. Nakago had taught them to me, and I had tried relieving my own pains and aches more often than once.  
Tomo could have at least told me he didn't like being touched before trying to violently attack me.  
I watched him kneel, then rise, walk to the horse and pull out more supplies. I couldn't see him very well, and yet it was fascinating to watch him move. I'd never seen him perform any kind of work before, just standing, arms folded, cackling quietly to himself as other performed the tasks for him. Apparently he did possess the skills to take care of himself where servants were not present. He moved like a dancer, and his long fingers were a flashing quickness in the moonlight.  
"Stop staring at me."  
I jumped at his voice, blinking guiltily. How did he know?  
I finished laying out my bedroll and looked around for some wood we could use for a fire. There wasn't much that was dry enough to be salvaged, and looking under rocks and between piles of wet sticks I could feel nocturnal insects squirming against my hands. I grimaced.   
"Soi, what are you doing?"  
I straightened, my small woodpile in my arms. "Gathering wood. I want a little warmth and light, even if you don't."  
He grumbled something under his breath, and my eyebrows went up in the dark. Grumbling? Tomo? I would never have guessed him to be the type. He was the smooth and sophisticated seishi, vain, self-serving, arrogant. At times I wondered if he was even human, beneath the mask of paint.  
I dumped the wood unceremoniously into the center of the clearing, applied flint and tinder to the small pile. In the growing blaze I could see him watching me, his amber eyes catching the light and reflecting, like some wild animal's.  
"Stop staring," I said, feeling self-conscious.  
He cackled.  
I ignored him, marching to the other side of the clearing where my bedroll was and rummaging for something to eat.  
"You can move over, you know."  
"What?"  
"You don't have to sleep that far away from me."  
His voice was not mocking, it was just…normal. I analyzed it, trying to find any hint of anything that would indicate he was trying to make a fool of me. Nothing.  
"I'm fine here, thank you," I said, going back to looking through my pack, My fingers scrambled blindly, my mind wandering.  
"I'm gay," he said bluntly. "You don't have to worry about anything."  
I frowned. "Why are you telling me this?"  
He didn't answer.  
I pulled out some dried meat and fruit and began eating in silence. Between us the fire crackled and I could see his silhouette through the flames, applying something to his face. After a while, he carefully put away whatever he had been doing and lay down.  
It was quiet.  
After a long while I got up, going over to put out the fire. His face was turned towards the flames, eyes closed, features relaxed in sleep. The paint had been rubbed off…so that was what he had been doing before. Curious despite myself I stepped over to him, gazing down at his sleeping form.  
Even in the dim firelight he was striking. He looked so young, without the paint and the costume to hide behind, fine features almost like a girl's, delicate and perfect. I had never seen him without the paint before, and I doubted anyone else at the palace had either. Was this Tomo?  
I almost reached out a hand to stroke his forehead, then stopped myself. A little boy…he looked like a sleeping little boy, like one of the brothers I had so long ago and who was only a faint memory in my mind now. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I reopened them, he shifted slightly in his sleep. A strand of fine black hair drifted across his ear and fluttered gently in his breath.  
Sighing, I stood up and put out the fire. In the moonlight the clearing was a mass of shadows.

  
I had heard her hesitant footsteps coming towards me, to put out the fire, I was assuming. When she had stopped I felt her eyes on me, looking at me, thinking I was asleep.  
I supposed I couldn't keep the paint on forever. Her eyes on me were like beams of bright light, illuminating my bare features for the world to see. I froze. If I had had the paint on, I would have sat up, snapping a cold remark, warning her never to come near me while I was sleeping. But without the paint I couldn't.  
The loneliness came back and I could feel ghostly hands on me.  
The firelight died and I opened my eyes, staring at the branches above my head. Across the clearing her sleeping form was softly illuminated by the light of the moon. Was this how Nakago saw her every night? Sleeping.  
I sat up, hearing the night insects start to stir in the underbrush. I should be trying to sleep, and my body was telling me that I needed rest, yet I knew if I lay down I would not be able to escape into that world of oblivion.  
Sleep, I once told Nakago, was an illusion within an illusion.  
What had he wanted for us, traveling together? I did not talk to her, nor she to me. Yes, this was an important mission. Yes, I understood his planning for both of us to reach our objective. Yet he as a soldier should know that without unity, nothing would ever be accomplished. And he could not possibly expect Soi and I to come to a mutual understanding within a week.  
The man infuriated me.  
No. I would not think of him.  
I ran a hand over my smooth face, my jaw. The wind was cool against my unpainted face. I didn't blame her for staring…I would have if I had been in her place. The sight of Tomo without his mask. Who would miss the chance?  
I smiled grimly, feeling something twist inside my chest like memories. Yes, Tomo without his mask was a pathetic sight wasn't it?  
I was such a child.

  
**Di Er Tian  
Day Two**

The morning was chill and cold and I woke up with the sinking realization that my bedroll was soaking.  
Tomo was already awake, stirring up the fire and chewing on something as he rolled up his own bedroll and supplies. His face, I noticed, was painted.  
He didn't say good morning, but I didn't expect him to. I remembered the sight of his face last night in the firelight…if I hadn't seen for myself I would never have believed that the man I saw standing before me was the same boy who I had watched while he was sleeping. Strange how masks can change a person's soul.  
Nakago had told me that once.  
We didn't speak to each other. I was getting used to the long silences, broken only by a bird's lonely whistle or some other mournful animal howl from deep within the maze of trees. I was aware of my soreness as I mounted, grimacing. Tomo, of course, didn't make a sound. If he was sore, he didn't show it in his customary expressionless body language.   
We rode with our hoods down, and to my surprise he wasn't wearing the headdress. His long hair was bound up in a simple knot on the back of his head, the ends of the long ponytail hanging just below his shoulders. I could never have guessed he could put so much hair into such a small, efficient knot.  
"It's done with long practice, Soi."  
"What-"  
He cackled. "I'm not reading your mind…you stare so hard that it's impossible not to know what you are thinking."  
I rolled my eyes. He was still cackling as we moved out of the clearing onto the main road. The dirt was still fresh and loose from yesterday's rain and the horse's hooves sunk into the mud.  
"This road isn't used often, is it?"  
His words surprised me. I was riding alongside him, and when I glanced at him I found him watching me. "Not really. People don't like to go through the forest…they'd rather take the main road around it even though it's twice as long."  
His expression was thoughtful. "I see."  
"Why did you ask?"  
"The loose mud. Most dirt roads are packed down hard, if used enough."  
I hadn't ever noticed that. "Oh."  
A corner of his lip twitched. "The things you learn from traveling."  
"You were an opera performer, weren't you?" The words tumbled out before I could stop them.  
He cackled. "Observant."  
I dared a gamble. "Where did you perform?"  
Amber eyes turned to mine. "Why are you asking?"  
I hadn't expected him to respond. "I was wondering if you ever came by…where I was."  
"Where were you?" He did not sound offended, just mildly curious  
"In the south…"  
"Probably not, then." He raised a hand to brush away a stray strand of long hair. "We were based in the northeast."  
He lapsed back into silence but it was a comfortable one now, as the sun came up over the branches. I didn't ask why he had suddenly decided to talk to me, especially concerning something so private as his past. I knew how painful a past could be.   
All of us wore masks, and Tomo was just another of us.  
That was all.  
"Tomo?"  
He grunted in reply, shifting in the saddle. The sunlight filtering through the trees made red highlights in his black hair.  
"Why do you paint your face?"

  
"It's a hobby."  
I didn't know why I answered her, why I felt the compunction to give a response, any response, to her question that should have pierced me to the heart.  
She looked at me. "You're lying."  
"Maybe."  
I didn't know why I felt no offense. I had killed people before for daring to ask me that…and yet I rode silently by her side, taking it all in stride this time.  
Perhaps I was just tired.  
"I see," she murmured, making no further comment. I turned my face away so she wouldn't see it, hearing the voice of my teacher in my mind.  
_Red for loyalty, black for courage. Blue for intelligence, white for evil. And gold for the gods._  
Why, indeed?  
I would have made a very poor god.  
Nakago had told me that, when we were sitting there discussing the plans for this journey.  
_Are you ready for this, Tomo?  
Yes, Nakago-sama.  
You sound tired.  
Not all of us can be gods, Nakago-sama.  
You would have made a very poor god._  
There was a song I had learned once about a poor boy who had tried to cross the river to his home during a flood and drowned. A peasant's song, learned when I was very young to train my voice and to pass the time.   
To think of it, I had not sung anything in a very long time. My voice had probably gone to rot, like the ancient withered opera performers I used to look upon with such contempt. I was just like them, used and useless. I used to poke fun at them with the other boys when we thought no one would hear, but I knew deep in my heart that one day I would be just like them, sitting there, hands gnarled and wrinkled, joints too slow to perform the flips and spins that were the signature of the jing's role in the opera.   
I never thought that day would come so soon.  
I wondered if I had that look in my eyes, too, the look of emptiness and hopelessness. Waiting to die.  
"Tomo."  
I turned my head slightly. "Yes?"  
"Do you have a plan?"  
"A plan for what?"  
"When we finally get where we are going. The mountains. In order to find-"  
"Miboshi." The name was strange on my tongue. The last Seiryuu seishi. The last quest to be fulfilled before the miko came. "I have thought about it."  
"Maybe you'd like to tell me?" Her tone was of one who was running along the road of patience and rapidly reaching its end.  
"Perhaps some other time."  
I could feel her exasperation, but I kept silent. I had no desire to cater to her whims, and besides, I did not really have any sort of coherent plan. Yet.  
Miboshi. The name was like a mantra in the mind, a reverent word on the tongue. With Miboshi the prophecy would be fulfilled, all seven seishi gathered in one place and the great dragon god summoned. When the country would be saved and the great Nakago-sama would perhaps have his wish fulfilled.  
And then maybe there would be no use for me on this earth anymore and I would be just cast out to die.

  
We camped that night in another clearing, a little smaller than the one the night before. It was cramped, and in order to make room for any kind of fire I was obliged to move my bedroll closer to Tomo's. He said nothing as I dragged my blankets over next to his, turning my back on him and staring into the flames. I could hear him digging out food and other objects from his bag.  
"You never did answer my question," I said at last, still not looking at him but at the flames which danced and jumped in the night. "About why you wear all that paint on your face."  
Behind me came the sounds of soft scraping, as if he were peeling off something. "Why do you want to know?"  
I didn't respond for a moment, folding my hands in my lap and trying to choose the best answer that came to my mind.  
"Because we all wear masks," I said finally. "And I want to know the reason for yours."  
The scraping and scrubbing stopped and I made myself turn to look at him. He was a strange sight. One half of his face was clean and the other half was still painted, giving him the look of a strange half-human demon or a ghost.  
"You can laugh if you want," he said, voice emotionless as ever.  
"Why would I laugh?"  
"People always did. When I took it off. When I put it back on."  
I caught the slight caustic bitterness of his tone. He resumed his scraping, the soft sound the only thing that filled the night silence.  
"I would never laugh."  
"That's what you say."  
"I-" I stopped, thought about what I was going to say. One wrong word and the fragile truce that had somehow sprung up between us would be broken.  
"I would never laugh, because…because I know what it's like. To wear a mask."  
He continued scrubbing, though there was a slight pause in the perpetual motion after my statement. We sat in silence after that until he had finished, balling up the used cloths and tossing them into a small bag. Through the opening I could see what looked like jars of cosmetics and oils. He paused, and I could tell he was looking at me, weighing, gauging.  
"Perhaps you do," he said.

  
**Di San Tian  
Day Three**

The third day of travel was as uneventful as the first. Nakago had warned us about possible wolves and other perhaps more unnatural beasts that haunted the forest, but I was not worried, and as far as I could tell, Soi was not either. With our seishi powers combined, we were more powerful than a pack of a thousand wolves or ghouls.  
I fingered the clam in my pocket, keeping it close. It was foolish, really, to choose a clam as the focus of my powers, but out of everything I had tried, it had felt the most right. Feeling right was very important, as the man who had taught us dance had intoned.  
_If it feels wrong, most of the time it is wrong, and if you keep doing it you will end up killing yourself. That would be a pity, wouldn't it?_  
Neither Soi nor I spoke of the thing that had passed between us last night, but this morning seemed a little less awkward than the ones before it, a little more comfortable and right. It felt right. It was normal now to feel her riding by my side, sometimes silent, sometimes pointing out trivially amusing facts about the forest scenery to pass the time.  
Three more days until the forest thinned and then disappeared, leaving us in the middle of the hilly Kutou northern lands, and then the mountains, where the seishi who called himself Miboshi supposedly waited.  
I trusted Nakago with my heart and soul, but if he had made a mistake on location and this trip was all for nothing, I was going to be very upset at Kutou's highest ranking shogun.  
"The birds are quiet this morning," Soi said. "Why is that?"  
"Perhaps they are afraid of us."  
"No, really Tomo, I'm not joking." She sounded tense and when I looked over at her she was scanning the trees as if for signs of an enemy.  
"I don't feel anything."  
She shook her head, frowning. "I don't know. It feels wrong…somehow."  
_If it feels wrong, most of the time it is wrong._  
"How does it feel wrong?"  
"Like…" she trailed off. "Too silent. As if the forest is waiting…for something. Do you feel it?"  
I listened but could hear nothing out of the ordinary. There were birds and insects and normal forest sounds, from what I could distinguish above the clip-clop of horse hooves. "You are the nature seishi. I suppose you would be able to pick up these things."  
"Nature seishi? That's Amiboshi," she said. "I just destroy things."  
"You are right, though," I said, ignoring her wide-eyed look of disbelief at my words. I wasn't about to be killed for ignoring a warning from someone who obviously knew what she was talking about, rival or not. Admitting that she was right for once would be far less dangerous. If it didn't feel right, it was wrong.  
"We shall ride more carefully."

  
Morning passed, then midday, and then afternoon, without any sign of trouble or attack. Perhaps I was just imagining things, but I didn't think so. Something was not right. I could feel it like a tingling in my bones, and the feeling did not go away. Tomo did not seem concerned.  
It had taken me by surprise when he had chosen to listen to my warning, but then again the painted one had been surprising me these past few days. I supposed it shouldn't be strange that he decided not to fight with me over this after all.  
I would never have admitted it to myself, but I actually found myself actively enjoying his company. He was a listening ear, something I had never really had. When I was a child, I was the little girl in the corner, always ignored, always passed over. At the palace, things were not much better. Nakago heard me, but he never listened. I didn't know why I tried to give him my opinion anyway. I had never tried really talking to Tomo back then, but whenever I started to say something he would cackle and stalk off.   
But now he was different, somehow. This wasn't the painted Tomo. I was seeing glimpses of the man under the mask, the boy who still existed somewhere beneath the falsehoods when they were stripped away, the boy who in my mind was forever asleep with the firelight flickering over his face and into the shadows of the hollows of his throat.  
We stopped for the night as the sun was setting, on precaution from me. Just in case, to give us time to prepare for anything that might come. Traveling in the dark with potential and unknown enemies on one's tail, enemies who probably waited until dark to strike, was about the most foolish tactical error one could make. Tomo knew that as well as I.  
He took off the paint as usual, throwing the used cloths into the same bag. He must have an endless supply of the things. Catching my look, he simply reached in and pulled out a large stack of thin rags. I smiled before I could catch myself. I wasn't sure if he saw, as he was putting them back silently. If he noticed, he said nothing.  
I built the fire extra high that night, just in case. I had not had a good fight in weeks, but still I usually preferred knowing the relative statistics on who or what was going to attack me before I began any battle.  
Tomo was on edge, I could see. "You feel it too?" I asked.  
"Now that it is dark, yes. Before in the sunlight, I felt nothing."  
"Why is that?" I wondered idly, drawing some newly learned kanji in the dirt at my feet.  
"I work best in the darkness," he said. "As, I assume does our enemy, whoever he is."  
That made sense. It was fully dark now, and the feeling of being watched had intensified. I felt eyes on me from the blackness of the forest.  
"This will be interesting," he murmured, a split second before they struck.  
It was without warning. Shapes in the darkness leaping out at us from all around. I surged to my feet, drawing my short sword. I saw Tomo had a weapon also before the furry shapes cut me off from him and I could only see the glowing red eyes before me. Claws reached out for me. I slashed and hacked, any sword forms abandoned to the simple need to kill as many of them as I could.  
They were wolves, I realized. Nakago had been right. Their howls echoed in my ears and as many as I felled, they kept coming. Leaping. Something caught me in the face. I fell, stabbing upwards. A mournful wail as the animal collapsed on me. Warm blood. I tasted it in my mouth and I spat.  
Another attack. They kept coming and I was becoming tired, bleeding from small gashes over my face and neck and arms. A flying shape tackled me to the ground. A flash of pain in my arm. I dropped the sword.  
"Soi!"  
A hissing snake surrounded the creatures that were bearing down on me, teeth gleaming, and they howled. Red eyes unblinking in the firelight. I pushed myself up from the ground, ignoring the pain, grabbing a branch from the fire, facing the wolves. Something hit me in the back and I fell crashing to the ground once more.  
The thing on me was astonishingly heavy for a wolf. I twisted my head, trying to roll over and get up before it could get a hold on my neck, and found myself staring into a face.  
It was the twisted face of a man. Red eyes flashed. Long serrated fangs dripped with blood. My blood.  
"Tomo," I croaked. "Tomo!"  
There was a flash of light and the creature on my back was knocked off me. I scrambled up, dashing to the center of the clearing where Tomo was, holding the shin out in his outstretched hand. Illusions of snakes and vines tore through the gathered mass of wolves.  
"They keep coming," he said. His breath came in short pants.  
"They're werewolves," I gasped.  
"Use your magic, Soi!"  
"I-"  
"Do it now!"  
I closed my eyes, felt the power swell. I hadn't wanted to, hadn't wanted to massacre simple animals, unnatural or not. But I would prefer that to dying here in the dark forest with nothing but a pile of bloody bones for a memorial.  
The electricity crackled on my fingertips.  
"HAKUUJIN RAIHOU!"  
The blast slammed into the gathered pack with full force. The clearing suddenly smelled of burned flesh and singed fur. Ignoring the dizziness that had suddenly taken me, I summoned Seiryuu's power again.  
I tried to control it, but for some reason I couldn't see straight. The lightning flashed, shooting straight for the trees at the edge of the clearing. They toppled, in flames, straight into the pack of wolves.  
The reversal was remarkable. The wolves fled, howling, the forest echoing with their cries. The still burning tree crackled in the middle of the clearing, now swept clean of any grass by the clawed feet of the wolves.  
When I had looked again, the corpses of the dead wolves had disappeared.  
"Tomo," I said, and then the white spots in front of my eyes burst and I felt myself falling.

  
When I awoke I was lying on my blankets, arm bandaged and feeling lightheaded.  
"You're awake."  
"I-" I tried to speak, wondering what had happened, but Tomo dropped to my side with something in his hand, rubbing it over my face.  
"That stings."  
"It will clean your wounds."  
I swallowed and closed my eyes, feeling the vestiges of a headache. "Arigatou."  
He looked faintly surprised. "You're welcome."  
I let him finish going over my cuts with the cloth and then reached a hand to my head, deftly rubbing the pressure points. The pain faded and I pushed myself up.  
"You really shouldn't be sitting up."  
"I just hadn't used my powers in too long. I feel better." I showed him how to rid headache pain by simply finding the right points. "That's what I was trying to do that day when you slammed your fist into my jaw."  
He smirked slightly. "Reflex. I meant nothing by it."  
I sighed. "It's all right."  
"You said they were werewolves." He had rigged some sort of cooking stand over the fire and was cooking something in a small pot. I could smell it. I had never imagined Tomo the cooking type…the man kept surprising me.  
"We were very often without a cook on the road," he said wryly. "So I managed for the whole troupe."  
"They were werewolves. The one you blasted off me had the features of a man."  
Tomo looked thoughtful. Amazing how much more expressive he looked without the paint on his face. "Indeed. It appears our shogun was right after all."  
"Yes."  
He gave me a long searching look before going back to stirring the contents of the pot. When he finally spoke, his voice was thicker than normal, though I could tell he was trying to make it as light as possible.  
"Do you love him?"  
Of all the questions I had expected Tomo to ask, this was not one of them.  
After a startled second, I considered blowing him off, telling him something silly or simply avoiding the question. It cut too deeply.  
Yet he had asked it for a reason. I had to…had to at least try.  
_Did_ I love him?  
Something I had asked myself during those long sleepless nights when he decided he didn't need me to come to him, the nights I would spend alone in my bed with the covers pulled up as if warding against some unseen ghost or demon. Warding myself against him, because he didn't need me.  
I would not think of him, of his golden hair and blue eyes. Not here, not now.  
Too late.  
Did I love him?  
I closed my eyes.  
"Yes."  
"I see," he said quietly, standing, the ladle in one hand, staring out into the night where the wolves had vanished.  
"Do you?"  
I wondered if asking that of him was a mistake, but it was only fair. Talking with him like this was like a dream, surreal, like walking on glass or fire. Every move was a dangerous one.  
Especially this one.  
"Yes."  
"I thought so."  
"Rather stupid of me, isn't it?" he said, running his fingers over the handle of the ladle, stirring again now. "You'd think after twenty-one years of life alone on this earth I'd learn…I'd learn not to do stupid things like that. Apparently not." He gave a harsh laugh.   
"It's not…" I swallowed. "It's not stupid."  
"You're in no position to talk." His fingers tightened on the handle.  
"What do you-" I could have said a thousand things, to turn the subject. I had no desire to bring this up, no desire to talk to Tomo, of all people, about the deepest, most secret thoughts in my heart. "I'm in no position? Do you think he loves me? If you do, you're dead wrong."  
"Don't try to fool me into-"  
"I vowed I wouldn't think of him on this journey, and you're not making it any better!"  
He just looked at me then, with those amber eyes usually so blank, and in them I saw raw pain as great as my own.  
"Don't you think I made the same vow?"  
I didn't reply, couldn't, stunned into temporary silence. The cuts on my face stung again.  
"At least I tried," he said, picking up a small cracked bowl from beside the fire. "For what damned lot of good it did for me."  
"I know," I said.  
He handed me the bowl, eyes not meeting mine. "If he doesn't love you, then why do you keep going to him?"  
"He needs me."  
"He needs you, but he doesn't love you."  
"No." My voice cracked slightly. "He needs me for what I can do for him. My powers, nothing more." I looked up, meeting his eyes. "I used to wish…hope that it was something more. Then I just accepted it for what it was. I suppose it's better than nothing."  
Tomo ladled a bowl for himself and ate it while standing. It was some kind of stew. I tentatively lifted a bit to my lips. It was pleasantly warm and not bad tasting.  
"Why am I telling you this?" I said, almost whispering, talking to myself as well as to him.  
He sat in a smooth motion, as gracefully and easily as a dancer or a cat. "I don't know. Why are you?"  
"You're mocking me."  
"No." His spoon scraped against the bottom of the bowl. "I'm speaking your thoughts. Because we're both in the same situation, aren't we? Except you have him and I don't. I would do anything he asked of me, and so would you, for the simple illusion of being loved. It's all illusion. Isn't it?"  
I forced myself to smile sardonically, though I felt like crying. "That's one way to put it."  
"Soi."  
I put down my bowl. I wasn't hungry anymore. When I spoke, my voice was leaden. "What?"  
"What is your mask?"  
I met his golden gaze, letting my tears fall freely now. There was nothing to hide. Not anymore, not from him, to whom I had suddenly and perhaps insanely decided to open the innermost parts of my secret soul.  
"Nakago is my mask."  
The next morning when I awoke he was already dressed and packed, waiting for me. His face was not painted.

  
**Di Si Tian  
Day Four**

After the werewolf attack we moved more quickly, in a hurry to get out of the forest which had suddenly become hostile. Soi was on the alert, but after several hours, she decided that the feeling was gone.  
"They must have moved on," she said finally.   
"Cousins of Ashitare's, maybe?"  
She threw me a patient look. "Funny."  
She looked much better. I had bandaged her arm and the cuts on her face and hands should heal without scarring, if my makeshift medicine last night was any help. I tried not to think of my own face, unpainted for the first time in years. It had been a whim, waking up this morning and deciding not to paint it. A conscious choice, because I didn't want to.  
I didn't need to, in front of her.  
Not anymore.  
She had told me what I'd always wanted to know, and yet that knowledge filled me with a strange hollowness. He didn't love me, but neither did he love her. We were floating in a sea in which he was an island, grasping for land but never quite finding it.  
Beside me Soi started humming softly to herself and I took that as a sign the danger was truly past. She had a fairly good voice. A little untrained, and just a little strange to my ears, but a good one nevertheless.  
"I've never heard you sing before."  
She broke off, coloring slightly. "I used to sing to myself when I was a child. Old folk songs…it kept my mind off things."  
I didn't need to ask what kind of things. "I see."  
She didn't resume the humming and after I moment I caught her looking at me curiously. "You used to sing, didn't you, Tomo?"  
"It was a long time ago," I said curtly, grasping the reins more firmly in my hand.  
"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "I was just wondering…"  
"If you think I will sing for you, woman, you are mistaken."  
"Just curious," she said. "Why don't you sing anymore?"  
I weighed, considered. "Because…it is not necessary. Because that part of my life is past."  
"I understand," she said softly.  
I didn't doubt she did. "I sang because I needed to. Because if I wanted to eat I had to sing. That does not mean I enjoyed it."  
"Singing should be something to enjoy," she said. "Anything…I believe that anything you do should be something you enjoy. Or else what is the point of doing it?"  
"You tell me," I said flatly. I sensed where this was heading.  
"You're talking about…about him, aren't you?" I didn't answer. "Yes you are. It's…"  
"Funny isn't it?" I said, when she didn't continue. "You and I were used before he found us, and after all that, even now, we are still being used. Doesn't it strike you as ironic?"  
"You have a sick sense of humor, Tomo," she said quietly.   
"If I didn't think of it as humorous, I would be dead by now." I paused. "Why am I even telling you this?"  
"I don't know. Why are you?" Throwing my words from last night back in my face. Then she smiled faintly. "If the world is all illusion, then this is just a part of the great illusion, isn't it? So you shouldn't worry."  
I had underestimated her. I gave her a small bow off the back of the horse. "I concede."  
She laughed. I could detect a slight trace of sadness and bitterness in it, but she sounded freer than she had in weeks.  
"Thank you, Tomo. For listening."  
"I suppose you want me to thank you, too."  
"Well…" I caught a devilish gleam in her eyes before she spoke again. "No. Why don't you just sing for me?"  
"Woman-"  
"Please. Just once. I won't ask you again. Just here, in the forest."  
I grimaced.  
"I haven't sung in years, Soi."  
"Neither have I. And I was never singing for a living." She looked hopeful. "Onegai?"  
She sounded like a little girl, so lost and alone.  
Children, both of us.  
I gave with a small sigh, clearing my throat and then hesitantly beginning to sing. My voice was a bit scratchy from unuse, but the song covered a very small range of notes and thus I was spared from the horror of the high notes I would have had to hit in any given performance.  
I sang the song of the poor boy that I had learned long ago, the simple song about the boy who had tried to cross the raging river to his home and drowned.  
Reaching the end of the song, I dropped the last note, not looking at her. "I hope you're satisfied."  
"That-that was beautiful," she said simply. "Why did you pick that song?"  
The sun filtered through the tree branches and in the light they looked like gnarled hands reaching for us.  
"Because I was once that little boy, I think. But unlike him, I was saved from drowning."  
"Do you-" I looked over at her. Her eyes were gentle and sad. "Do you wish that you had drowned? Still?"  
"Yes."

  
That night the conversation was less heavy but not any less important. We had to develop a coherent plan of attack before we entered the villages, a plan that would convince this Miboshi, whoever he might be, that it would be worth the effort to join us.  
"Nakago-sama said he would be dangerous. But he didn't say how."  
I had sketched a simple map on a sheet of parchment before we left, copying Nakago's maze of lines and symbols that he had said were the mountains and the outlying hills of the area, when he had showed it to me the day before we departed. The map was crudely drawn, but clear enough to be able to circle and point out important sites.  
"He did say to look for a temple? Monastery?"  
I nodded, tracing a line of mountains with my finger. The red nail polish on the long nail was beginning to crack. I should just cut my nails.  
"Where the foothills meet the true mountains. I'm not sure if our seishi is actually in the temple or just lives around that area."  
"He said a priest..?"  
I frowned. "He did? He didn't tell me that."  
She shifted, her shadow falling over the map. "When we come out of the forest we will stop at this village, here." She pointed. "And then what?"  
"If my information is correct, he is a powerful chi manipulator. He may have spies there."  
"Spies for what?"  
"Nakago did imply that most of the outlying villages were at least partially controlled by him. It may be his way of asserting his dominance over the villagers and preventing any uprising."  
"Controlled…" she trailed off. "I see. Should we split up, then?"  
"That would be a bad idea."  
"I don't see why."  
Her sharp tone drew me. "You have a plan?"  
She circled the village with her finger lazily. "We reach this village tomorrow. From here there are a few smaller villages before the hills end and the mountains begin. If he does have spies…as you say, both of us traveling together will be suspicious."  
"And two strangers in different towns will not be?"  
"If we split up we have a better chance of reaching our goal. If they capture one they cannot capture the other. We are both adequately adept in defending ourselves." She looked at me. "Do you see what I am trying to say?"  
"Yes," I said grudgingly. "But Nakago-"  
"He wanted us to stay together. But he gave us this mission, Tomo. And we call it from here. Unless you have another plan."  
It made sense. But with the unknown resources this Miboshi had to throw at us, I was not so sure.  
"I don't."  
"Then do you accept mine?"  
I sighed wearily. "It seems I have no choice."  
"Tomo-"  
I stood up. "Leave it. We reach the village tomorrow and we depart separately. You leave in the afternoon. I will go after the sun sets. It should take three days approximately to reach the mountain area."  
"And then?"  
"If you are near enough, I can feel your chi. We will take it from there."  
"You know," she called after me as I turned to find some food from the saddlebags. "Plans always have a tendency to go horribly wrong."  
"We are Seiryuu seishi," I said. "We have the god on our side."

  
I couldn't sleep that night, so instead I watched him sleep, his face peaceful in the flickering firelight.  
He had cut his nails before going to bed and taken off the polish, saying that it was better for him to blend in with the people there. I didn't disagree. We were both dressed in simple traveling clothes, and although I missed my armor there was plenty of time for me to put it on again before we reached the mountains. If all went according to plan.  
My plan was sketchy and risky at best, but it would have to do. Nakago had given neither of us any information on what manner of creature Miboshi was, only that he was dangerous. Very dangerous, if provoked. Whatever that meant. The Shin Jin Ten Chi Sho of Seiryuu gave information only in riddles.  
Tomo's slight breathing was barely distinguishable above the whisper of the wind and I looked down at him again, wondering at how young he looked. Strange, how we had both become trapped in destiny's wheel. Strange how the past few days had changed us.  
I felt like I knew him, yet didn't know him. Tomo was a man of many layers, like all of us, and I had only begun to peel away at the surface.  
I thought back to his song about the boy who had drowned in the flood trying to cross the river to his home. He was that boy, he had said. Saved and yet wishing otherwise.  
Secrets within secrets.  
I rose and put out the fire, crawling back into my blankets. For whatever had happened the past few days and despite whatever would happen in the next few, I was glad. Glad that I, for however brief a moment, had seen him without the mask. Glad that he had seen me without mine. I would have never thought it would be him, but it seemed strangely appropriate now.  
If he had been awake he would have told me flatly to go to sleep, that I needed rest. But he was the one asleep and I was the one lying awake in the dark, hearing his shallow breathing and my own thoughts running in circles inside my head.  
The wind rustled the dry leaves on the ground and I heard again his voice.  
_We are Seiryuu seishi. We have the god on our side._  
If the world was all an illusion, as he had said, it was a damn good one.  
Closing my eyes, I let myself fall into the illusion of sleep. 

San Cha Kou::The Crossroads 


	4. Scene 3: The Village

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** SAN::SCENE III**  
Xiang Cun  
The Village

_At a place where three roads meet, there is an inn called, "San Cha Kou". The innkeeper, Liu Li Hua, and his wife conspire to rob the guests after they have all gone to bed for the night. Having agreed on the details of their plan, Liu Li Hua and his wife hang their banner outside and open for business._

**Fen Bie  
Leavetaking**

The village was almost too big to be called a village. A small city, maybe. We reached it by late morning on the fifth day.  
We wandered through the crowded streets for a while, trying our best to look like normal travelers passing through. There were crowds, but the air was of muted wariness, as if the buildings themselves were trying to hide from something they could not see or feel or imagine.  
"You feel it?" I asked Tomo. We kept our hoods up as we walked, as did half the people in the crowd. A place to hide and not be found.  
He nodded and I saw his hand tightening on the horse's reins. "I feel fear."  
A good description. Kutou was fear…I had learned that much early on. The country of the god of war, governed and ruled by fear. "We should have split up before we left the forest."  
"A little late to think of that now, isn't it?"  
"We should probably split up now. Just to avoid suspicion and from being seen together. Don't you think?"  
He cackled softly. "Half the people on these streets are probably wanted criminals for something. It would be little use to separate now. Besides, we need supplies."  
We watered the horses and bought some meat and fruit in the central marketplace. At least I bought fruit. Tomo stood and watched, arms folded, claiming the fruit was too old to be any good. I ignored him. Yes, the fruit was old, but when one was hungry, that did not really matter. I placed the fruits into my saddlebag and turned to him.  
"When?"  
His eyes were hooded. "You can leave now if you would like. I can't feel anything. The crowds are too damn big to feel any specific chi."  
"Which is probably what he wants."  
Tomo nodded. "I would suspect so. I don't know if we are being followed or not. If there is any suspicion we will soon find out, won't we?"  
I hissed under my breath. "Why couldn't he just come with us willingly?"  
Tomo didn't answer, scanning the crowds. "You should leave. Before they spot us together."  
I nodded. "Yes. Be careful. Three days. Don't get yourself killed." Without a backward glance I started walking away from him, leading my horse.  
"We can't be killed," his soft voice said. "We are Seiryuu's seishi."

  
**Deng  
Waiting**

That sounded arrogant, didn't it?  
_We can't be killed. We are Seiryuu's seishi._  
I wondered if I should have said something to her along the lines of what she said to me. Be careful. Be safe. Don't get yourself killed, either. But I couldn't imagine saying those words, saying anything like that. Tomo the Seiryuu seishi worked for himself, always for himself, and cared not for the misfortune of others.  
At least, that was before Nakago saddled me with the responsibility of this mission.  
_I would do anything he asked of me, and so would you, for the simple illusion of being loved._  
I turned my back on her retreating cloaked figure. Three days, I had said, to reach the monastery or temple in the mountains where our target waited. Why couldn't Miboshi be reasonable and decide to come with us without any need for…persuasion? Why did things have to be so difficult? After all, when Nakago found me, I left without any backward glances, glad to be leaving the life I had known. So, I would think, did Soi and the twins and Ashitare, even.  
Why not Miboshi?  
I idly walked the streets. I had told Soi I would leave at nightfall, but there seemed no reason to stay here. I had wanted to track the chi of whoever might be pursuing us, to find out where their motives and loyalties lay. But with the crowds and the possible masking of chi, it was impossible.  
_Alertness,_ my dance instructor had admonished me, _is the key to success. Without it you will accomplish nothing. Without it you are only another failure._  
Another failure, yes, but then we were all failures. A whole group of us, huddled alone and frightened in our secret hideaways, hoping that someday we could emerge into the bright sunlight and not be afraid. Because I had not learned my lessons well enough in those days and then I had failed the test.  
_Why do you paint your face?_  
There was definitely some kind of spell here that made it impossible to sense another's chi, for I had not even been able to sense Soi's as she was walking by me. It would be worse up in the mountains, where Miboshi's influence was, I assumed, much more powerful. We were separated now…it would be near impossible for me to find her if she decided to do anything rash.  
Three days. Perhaps we should have stayed together. I should have known…I should have known not to listen to her.  
I led my horse through the crowds, suppressing my own chi. If I could not find them, they could not find me.  
Three days. 


	5. Scene 4: The Mountain

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** SI::SCENE IV**  
Shan  
The Mountains

_Chiao Tsan arrives at the inn accompanied by his small military transport._

**Yin Tian  
Cloudy**

After I left Tomo I rode as quickly as I could away from the city and its smell of fear. I had known that type of fear before, all around me, in the haunted eyes of the girls I worked with, in the dirt and grime of the place where we lived. It was a second layer of dirtiness on my skin, and no matter how hard or how long I scrubbed, it would never come off.  
Until he saved me.  
The landscape began to change gradually from the dark green vegetation of forests and plains to the more scrubby, dry mountain plants that populated the foothills of Kutou. The trail wound up and down sloping hillsides and I slowed to avoid my horse tripping on any loose rocks. A stone in the hoof right now was not a good idea.  
Overhead, the sky darkened. If it rained now I would be drenched before I could find shelter, and there was no forest to cover me this time.  
But it did not rain, simply clouded and covered the sun. The trail I was following now was no more than a beaten footpath, overrun by dying weeds and the occasional skeleton of a long dead animal. I felt the fear again, crowding behind me, around me. I imagined voices, ghostly, at the edge of my consciousness.  
_Brave girl.  
Who are you?  
Turn back. Turn back before it's too late._  
I blinked. No, I wasn't imagining…there really were voices. My horse chomped at the bit, gait slowing, and I pushed it onward.  
_You don't belong here.  
Or do you?  
Are you one of us?_  
I felt icy fingers on my cheeks and suppressed a shudder. My horse shied and I kicked it hard in the sides. I couldn't have it stopping on me now. If I was to get there to meet Tomo in three days, I needed the fastest transportation I could find.  
_What are you, girl?  
Who are you?  
What are you doing here?  
You are different._  
Damn right I was different. I could see faintly wisps of…something in the air now. The sky was darkening quickly and I could see flashing lights around me.  
Lost souls. Nakago had spoken of lost souls, but had glossed over it quickly as if it were nothing. Perhaps thinking I could handle a few lost souls without any problem?  
If that was the case, I wouldn't disappoint him.  
Another cold icy finger brushed me, and it felt like my cheek had been numbed.  
"Leave me alone!" I said into the eerie silence, and I heard invisible laughter.  
_She wants us to leave her alone.  
Do you know where you are headed?  
You are headed towards death._  
"I know that," I growled through gritted teeth. I focused my eyes on the road straight ahead. If I veered off the path now, who knew what horrors awaited me? Swallowing, I suppressed the urge to flee. I was not afraid of a few lost souls.  
_She's not afraid.  
How noble of her.  
What do you want, girl?_  
"I am Seiryuu shichi seishi Soi," I said, jerking the horse to a stop on the road. It reared up on its hind legs slightly, but I kept my balance, my hand on my dagger.  
"I seek the Seiryuu shichi seishi Miboshi."  
The voices laughed.

  
**Zhao  
Searching**

It was not until I had ridden up into the true foothills that I felt the first disturbances.  
It was not chi, exactly. More like vestiges of chi, places where it had been but was now not, empty shells in which the chi had once resided. Frustrated, I tried to pin it down but to no avail.  
It was getting dark, and my night senses were stirring. There were dancing lights in front of me, tiny lights that looked like miniature lamps, in front, behind, all around.  
Unnatural.  
My hand grasped the shin in the pocket of my traveling cloak, and I narrowed my eyes, seeking. I couldn't feel any chi, just the strange dampened almost-chi that kept eluding my grasp.  
_Who are you?_  
My head jerked up at that.  
A voice?  
_Who are you?  
You do not fear us._  
Voices…voices from the mist that had closed in around me without noticing. I kept my head high, my gaze narrow.  
The almost-chi…these were spirits?  
_We fear you.  
You are different.  
Who are you?  
What are you?  
Who do you seek?_  
Undercurrents of fear in the ghostly voices. I understood the threads of chi that ran through them, thin as gossamer and just as fragile. Ghosts but not ghosts…living souls trapped in the dead world of the Kutou foothills, waiting for…  
What?  
"What is your business with me?" I said into the darkness and mist. The horse's hooves echoed with a dead thudding noise.  
_We watched you coming.  
We have seen you for many days.  
You seek one of us.  
Who is it?  
Who are you?_  
"I will tell you nothing," I said calmly, "Until I find the one I seek." My voice sounded odd, as if muffled. The air was thick and wet.  
_Then how will you know who you seek?  
If you do not ask us.  
People have died here.  
As will you._  
"I do not plan on dying," I said. My horse's ears were laid back flat against its head, and I could feel its tense gait jarring my body on the dirt path which I could barely even see. "Begone! I have no business with you. Only with your master."  
_He seeks the master.  
Brave man.  
Many have sought the master.  
None have survived._  
"Oh?" I wondered softly, baring my teeth in the dancing lights of the spirits, bringing my shin up out of my pocket opened, releasing its power without any visible illusion. It was enough. The voices wavered at the edge of my conciousness and then retreated. The almost-chi vanished and I was alone.  
"Then," I said to the heavy silence, "I shall be the first."

  
**Ting  
Listening**

I had given up trying to make my horse go any faster and had finally dismounted, leading the recalcitrant animal by the bridle and trying to keep my footing on the dirt path that had suddenly become slick and unnavigable . All around me the lights floated, but the voices were gone. I had felt a sudden surge of familiar power before they disappeared. Tomo?  
I couldn't tell. It was best not to rely on false hope. Two days left to reach the mountains, and at this pace I would be lucky if I could make it in three.  
I could only hope Tomo would know how to find me.  
It was fully dark now, and I could hear strange noises from the sides of the road in the grasses and the marshy areas further on. The lights were more numerous now, seeming to increase with each step I took. The horse shied again and stopped. I tugged at the bridle but it stood firm, eyes rolling.  
"Stupid horse," I mumbled, placing a hand on its head and feeling the chi inside the animal, trying to grasp the strands that would enable me to control it.  
A noise from the marshes broke my concentration. A low rumble. The ground shook. The horse reared, snorting in fear, taking me with it.  
For a long, sick frightening moment I hung between sky and earth, grabbing onto the bridle and shouting at the top of my lungs, and then the animal hit the ground with a jarring crash which shook loose my grasp on its bridle. It reared once more and then swung around, breaking into a full gallop back down the path from which we had come.  
I stood, too tired to shout after it. I should have guessed it would bolt sooner or later. If only all my supplies hadn't been in the saddlebags.  
If only Tomo hadn't agreed to my plan to travel apart. I had underestimated the enemy, and it was all my fault.  
_All your fault._  
I froze. The voices again.  
_Are you lost?  
Lost your way?  
Come with us.  
We will show you where to go._  
The dancing lights appeared in front of me, coalescing into an iridescent ball of glowing, moving particles.  
_Come._  
I couldn't look away. It was so beautiful…so beautiful.  
_Come with us._  
Of course I would go with them. It was the only solution, after all.  
I reached out a hand to touch the glowing ball but it moved further down the path and I followed, feeling like I was floating on air. How strange. How wonderful.  
Like magic…  
_Come. Don't be afraid._  
Afraid? I wasn't afraid.  
_Not afraid? Good._  
Of course not. Who did they think I was? I was a Seiryuu seishi.  
Seiryuu…  
I felt like a string had snapped and I stumbled, falling face down on the dirt path, blinking my eyes to get rid of the light's afterimage. What had I just done? Fallen for the world's oldest trap. Surely, surely I had not been that stupid!  
_We have her.  
It's too late._  
The voices laughed, first a breathy whisper, rising to a shriek, whistling past my ears until it was not laughter anymore but screaming, screaming of terror and pure fear and the cries of the undead. I pressed my hands to my ears to block out the sound, but it penetrated through my skull, shaking me, blocking my own senses to anything but the pain of the endless screaming of despair.  
And then it ended.  
I drew a deep, shuddering breath. The light was gone too, but there was a strange misty sort of blue light all around me.  
I looked up.  
I was no longer in the foothills. These were the mountains of Kutou, and there before me yawned wide the gate of what looked like an ancient castle.  
I could feel the evil in this place.  
_Looking for something?_  
This voice was different. It had substance, quality, life. It rang with mockery. I pushed myself to my hands and knees, then stood unsteadily, staring into the open gate beyond which only darkness lay.  
"I am Seiryuu shichi seishi Soi," I said. "I have come for you."  
And then the ground erupted under me and I screamed, and then there was nothing else. 


	6. Scene 5: The Foundation

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** WU::SCENE V**  
Di Su  
The Foundation (Tomoboshi)

_Unaware that Chiao Tsan has reached the same inn shortly before him, Zan Ton Quai decides to take a room for the night. He finds the door locked, and begins banging to gain entry. Liu Li Hua, who has been busy sizing up the guests, comes running to let him in. Zan Ton Quai has a keen intuition, and immediately suspects something amiss about the innkeeper._

The voiceless spirits did not bother me for the rest of my journey, but I sensed their nearness, hovering just out of my reach, out of my touch, waiting for a chance. I did not give them that chance.  
The hills became mountains and I began searching for Soi's chi. The strange chi blocking I had sensed earlier seemed not to be present here, which was strange. Still, no matter how hard and long I searched, I could not locate her. It was if she had simply vanished.  
Or she was dead.  
No, she couldn't be dead. If she had died, I would have felt it.  
The trail became increasingly rocky and I dismounted, leading my horse over the crevices and deceptive flat places in which a wrong foot could lead to a straight drop to jagged cliffs below. It would not be a good way to end my search. Nakago needed me. Soi needed me.  
That was a strange thought. Strange also how I had come to know her in the past few days when I had vowed not to speak a word to her on this journey. Destinies colliding, I suppose. At least that is what Nakago would say.  
I could not sense her.  
I should at least be able to sense some residue, some mark of her passing, for being a seishi, her chi would be unusually strong. Nothing.  
She couldn't be dead. I wouldn't let her be.  
I walked in what seemed to be circles upon circles, leading my increasingly impatient horse through narrow passes and shifting scenery. It was useless.  
At sunset, I stopped, leaning against a rock and holding the reins loosely in my hand. Three days, I had said. It was the third day, and she was not here.  
I was tired. I would not be admitting this to myself unless I was truly tired, and it felt like my bones were being ground together in a backbreaking dance of gravity. Some other strange magic, perhaps? Sorcery? At this point, I did not care. I was tired and hungry and frustrated and I could not find her.  
A strange rumbling sound drew my attention and I glanced upward, alert, but could see nothing, though the ground vibrated just a little. In these mountains, there were always avalanches or rockslides of some sort, and it would be just my luck to be caught in one. I maneuvered carefully through the pass, noticing the increasing shaking of the ground as I walked on. Drawing a deep breath, I stopped and looked up, just in time to see the mountainsides before me crumble.  
I threw myself to the ground, hearing the terrified shriek of my horse above the deafening shower of rock upon rock. Sharp flakes of stone struck my arms and the exposed skin of my neck and face and I choked on rolling clouds of dust. The rocks kept falling, a thundering storm of crushing death raining from the sky.  
And then they stopped.  
The sudden silence was eerie and I could hear my sharp breaths coming loud and panting in the quiet air. I raised my head from my arms, blinked as the dust settled. I could see a hoof protruding from a pile of stones nearby. My horse was dead.  
_Do not be afraid._  
The voice echoed inside my head, and I stopped moving, kneeling on the hard rock amid the wreckage of what had been mountains, waiting.  
_Do not be afraid._  
"What do you want?" I said quietly, not raising my voice.  
_What do you want?_  
"You know what I want," I said, deliberately. "Miboshi."  
A quiet laugh reverberating through the canyon.  
_I see._ The voice seemed to pause a moment, considering.  
_Then enter._  
A sudden gust of wind howled through the canyon and I lost my balance, falling backwards to sprawl on the sharp jagged stones behind me. I could feel tiny trickles of blood running down my back, but there was no pain.  
Then the dust was gone and in its place was a monstrous black castle built out of the mountains itself, spires and pinnacles rising into the gray sky like the dried fingers of a skeleton. The very nearness of it reeked of something rotting and unholy, and in the air, I could feel death. The voice whispered along my neck and my face, and I shivered.  
I was the Seiryuu seishi Tomo, and I was afraid of nothing.  
Except this.  
_Do not be afraid._  
The mocking tone of the voice was not lost on me. I drew a deep breath. This was it, wasn't it? What I…what we had come so hard to find. And I would not give it up on a simple streak of fear, because I had to do it for him. Him alone. Nakago.  
I tried to imagine blond hair, blue eyes gazing into mine, his voice telling me the specifics of my mission. But I couldn't seem to remember what he had looked like.  
_Hesitation here is death,_ the voice hissed. _I have extended my welcome. Make your choice!_  
I closed my eyes and another face drifted into my consciousness-red hair, soft eyes, a warm voice and iron resolve.  
Soi.  
For a brief instant I felt a strand of familiar chi flare and then vanish. I stiffened, concentrating, but it did not return. Yet…I had felt it. Her chi. Was she there, then, inside? Had this monster who called himself Miboshi captured her?  
It was a trap, then.  
I didn't have to go. I could back down, retrace my steps to the flatlands of Kutou and report to him that Soi had been lost. And then perhaps I could have my chance with him…It was so simple. All so simple. She meant nothing to me anyway, and he would mark her off as another warrior lost in battle. My choice.  
Nakago was her mask. And in a way, I supposed he was mine as well.  
_Are you afraid?_  
The wind rose, tracing the sharp scores of wounds on my neck and back. I opened my eyes, pushing myself onto my feet, forcing myself to gaze directly at the dark entrance of the den of fear before me. Trap or no trap, I was entering, and the gates of hell itself would not stop me.  
"I am never afraid." 


	7. Scene 6: The Dream

Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu.

  
** LIU::SCENE VI**  
Meng  
The Dream

_That evening, Liu Li Hua eagerly waits for the guests to extinguish their lights and fall asleep. Zan Ton Quai still feeling uneasy, carefully examines his room to make sure that it is secure. Locking the door and blowing out his lantern, Zan Ton Quai finally goes to bed, fully clothed and prepared to spring to his feet at a moment's notice. _

**Bai Hua E  
Haku Kaen**

I awoke in pure darkness.  
My head hurt and I couldn't remember why. Something had happened. Something bad? I couldn't…  
"Kaen! Get your good for nothing ass out into the kitchen right now!"  
I threw back the covers, shivering in the dark room. The mistress sounded upset.  
_What mistress?_  
I scrubbed my face with the rough soap and faded washcloth. My skin was chapped and cracked and the washing hurt, but I gritted my teeth and rinsed off the soap. The makeup would cover that enough.  
Stepping across to the chair, I grabbed the dirty dress that hung over the back _dress?_ and slipped it on, grimacing at the smell. Washing was unknown here for lowly kitchen maids like me. The dress's baggy bodice hung down low over my chest, meant for an older woman and not at all fitting my small, bony form.  
"Kaen!"  
I didn't want a whipping.  
_Whipping?  
No. This is wrong. Wrong. Wrong._  
The light was bright out in the kitchens and cooks shoved greasy dishes and cheap bear mugs at me. The tray was too heavy and I staggered.  
"Don't drop that, girl!"  
My arms gave and the cracked china tumbled to the hard floor, shattering.  
_What…?_  
"Kaen, you clumsy bitch!"  
I didn't protest as I was dragged out of the room by rough hands. Didn't protest as they flung me on the edge of the chair and raised the long stick over my head.  
_Na…Nakago._  
When they hit me, I did not scream.

  
**Luo Jun  
Ryo Chuin**

It was so very cold.  
"I'm…I'm sorry."  
I tried to lift my voice, to respond, to say something, but all that came out was a faint cry.  
_Why can't I speak?_  
"I don't want this. It's not your fault. Not your fault."  
She was speaking to me?  
"Oh gods. I hate you. I hate you!"  
And then the crash of water all around me and it was cold and dark and I couldn't breathe. I was drowning in water and no one could save me.  
_Nakago-sama!_

  
**Bai Hua E  
Haku Kaen**

I was running in a room of mirrors and the light sparkled and reflected off them and into my eyes and I couldn't see.  
_Help me.  
You love him, don't you?_  
And when I looked into the mirrors I couldn't even see my reflection, just the endless halls of mirrors reflecting upon mirrors in which there were supposed to be walls. Because I knew there were supposed to be walls even if I couldn't see them.  
_You love him.  
Shut up!  
You love a man who will never love you the way you want him to love you._  
Increasing my pace made the mirrors blur past at an ever increasing speed but the hall went on and on and there was no end and I was so tired.  
_You know why he won't love you, don't you? Don't you?_  
The corridor branched suddenly ahead and I had to slow and stop, staring. They were all the same. All the passages. Lined with mirrors of a blazing brilliance and my vision was spinning and I couldn't even tell what was the walls or the floors or anything and I couldn't breathe.  
_Stop.  
I have stopped!  
Do you know why?_  
The mirrors vanished and it was dark. I smelled the faint burning smell of sulfur.  
_Let me show you._  
And then there was one glittering mirror that still remained, drawing nearer and nearer and it glowed with an unearthly light. I couldn't move.  
It was my face in the glass, my naked body reflected in the razor sharp nothingness. Except the eyes were dead and blood was running out of the nose and mouth, and a thousand sucking things were crawling over the rotting flesh, tiny pincers ripping bits of muscle and bone and devouring my own corpse as I watched.  
_This is you. This is your soul. You know that, don't you? That your soul is dirty and he would never want you?  
No. No!_  
I struggled and I fought but I was frozen in place and I could not even shout, could not even scream.  
_There is no one to help you now._  
The chest cavity caved in and where there should have been a heart there was only a cold white moonstone, blinding to the sight. Screaming. White pus leaked slowly out of the stone, puddling on the blackness which was not there. And the vision grew nearer until I could feel the slow crumbling of the body in the glass and the tiny points of pain where the roiling mass of scavengers fed.  
_You know why. Don't you?_  
When the glass touched me, it was like a homecoming.

  
**Luo Jun  
Ryo Chuin**

Lounging in the expensive throne-like chair, I sipped my wine and gazed out the window at the vast expanse of Chinese gardens.  
A knock on the door. I turned. "Enter."  
The man who entered was my chancellor of state. He bowed respectfully, handing me a letter on a silver tray. I frowned. I usually did not get letters until later in the evening, and especially never at this hour in the morning. I had just woken up. Affairs of state were the last thing on my mind at this point.  
"Who is this from?"  
"I have no idea, heika-sama."  
Strange. I took the tray and placed it on the large desk before me, fingering the paper. It was made of an expensive material, from the woods in the south of the country, probably. My country.  
After all, I was the emperor.  
"Heika-sama? Shall I take it back?"  
I waved the question aside. "No. I will open it eventually."  
He nodded his assent. He was used to such behavior from me, would not question it. He had known me as a child and then as a too young emperor when my father had died an untimely death. He knew how burdensome the office was for me, and his help was invaluable. I did not know what I would do without him.  
"Do you think me weak?"  
"Heika-sama?"  
I could hear the surprised tone in his voice. "Don't dodge the question. I am too young to be emperor, I know. Many have said so, even to my face. I-"  
"Heika-sama, no one would dare say this to your face!"  
I smiled wryly. "So you do not disagree that they do say it."  
His silence confirmed my thoughts. I stood slowly, picking up the unopened letter from the tray, walking to the window. The light seemed wrong for early morning, somehow, red and black and grayish all at once, but that was the last of my worries right now.  
"I suppose I should not dwell so much on these things," I said lightly, laying one hand on the windowsill. "After all, the world is an illusion, as my father used to say."  
"I remember that, heika-sama."  
"I don't doubt you do. He was a kind man, my father." I paused, reflecting. I tried to remember his face but for some reason I could only recall the ghostly sound of screaming. I flinched.  
He looked alarmed at my reaction, crossing hurriedly to my side. "Are you all right, heika-sama?"  
I nodded absently, pulling away from his reaching hand.  
"Illusion…everything illusion."  
"Not everything," he said.  
I frowned at him. The room was growing fuzzy for some reason, and his voice sounded like it was coming through water. "Say again?"  
"Not everything." It was like an echo, and I found myself tearing open the seal of the letter in my hand while straining to hear his words.  
The letter contained nothing. Only a flat piece of paper stained with something red.  
"Blood?" I whispered.  
The blood thickened and began to spread, wetting the paper. I dropped it on the floor and watched in horror as it continued to pour out and trickle onto the floor with a horrible wet sound like trickling thick mucus. Watched as it started to fill the room and the walls and still he stared at me.  
"What-" I gasped, floundering. "What do you mean?"  
"You must learn…to distinguish the illusion from reality. Because there is a reality."  
"No!"  
"Yes!" His hand grasped for me but met with empty air. "Because without reality there would be no life!"  
"Life is an illusion," I said, tasting my own bitter blood in my mouth and feeling it creep up my throat.  
He still stared at me as the blood rose to his neck and then to his eyes and I could hear his voice from far away, gurgling through the lake of blood.  
"I cannot believe that."

  
**Bai Hua E  
Haku Kaen**

I was dressed in some kind of silky material and I could feel their hands on me as they gently stroked my hair and lifted me to cradle me against them.  
Weeping?  
"So young…so young…"  
They lifted me again but this time not my body, only the hard wooden pallet I lay on and I tried to ask where we were going but I couldn't speak.  
The halls smelled of death and decay and my hands were folded on my chest on the thin silky garment I wore and nothing else. I heard chanting in my ears, a sad, slow, mournful droning that tore at my heart.  
We arrived in a cavern lit by a million torches and the fire and the smoke traced patterns on the rocks of ghosts and demons. They bore me still to the center of the chamber where they stopped and I felt them lower me down, down, down…  
I knew now. It was a coffin.  
I was a corpse. I was dead and they would bury me, except I knew I was still alive.  
Only I.  
I tried to scream, to kick, to move my body, but it felt like heavy lead and I could not feel my limbs. Was I then a corpse in the true sense of the world?  
Was this what death felt like? Alive and not alive, unable to move but able to see and feel and touch but unable to weep?  
The coffin lid lowered with a final crash and I could hear the inarticulate chants and weeping still as the procession left the cavern.  
Alone at last, I stared blindly at the blackness around me and then I felt my limbs loosen and my throat work and I tried to scream.  
Only a tiny, soft, muffled whimper in the dark.

  
**Luo Jun  
Ryo Chuin**

_Can you feel nothing now?_  
I was a blind fetus in my mother's womb and all I could do was move one small hand in acknowledgement. Nothing.  
_Good. As it should be.  
Where am I?  
That is not your concern._  
I was the fetus but not. I could feel its blind fear and hunger and all its primal human instincts emerging from the developing shell of a brain and a nervous system still too primitive to sense. Except I could sense.  
_Where am I? Who am I? Who are you?_  
A pause. The fetus kicked feebly. Life and warmth and food and darkness.  
_I am no one and everyone.  
Who-  
This is life. Watch and observe. A grand illusion, is it not?_  
I tried to recall, tried to remember the words that someone had once told me. Something about life and illusion…but the fetus mewed again and my concentration broke and there was nothing.  
_The greatest illusion of all. When you do not even know who you are. The cycle of life, birth and death, and we all return to nothingness.  
That is not illusion.  
Nothingness can be called illusion. As you well know.  
Do I? How can I, if I know nothing of who I am?  
You do not need to concern yourself with such trivial matters._  
There was a presence near me, an intruder. The fetus' brain registered this and it began to kick more urgently. An intruder in its private world, one who was not welcome, one who did not belong.  
_I do not belong, just as you did not belong._  
Such pain.  
_How did you-  
How did I know? I know all things. Because that is who I am._  
It was growing colder and the fetus mewled feebly, trying to bring back the warmth it craved.  
_Can you see? Death is near, and soon life will return to the illusion of darkness once more.  
That is not illusion! That is only death!  
Can you tell me you have not killed?  
I-  
Not knowing. What a tragedy. I will take life as I will, for it is my privilege.  
Only a monster would kill an unborn child.  
So you have never done so? Not ever? Not once? What about the one you love? How many times has he killed?_  
So much pain in those words and I couldn't stand it much longer.  
_That was different!  
So you do remember.  
No! I-_  
The fetus struggled but the icy coldness was too much for it and I could feel its feeble attempts slowing, and then it stilled. The tiny head drooped.  
_So the cycle of life is complete. Death, birth, life, and death once more.  
That was not life! It had not even begun to live!  
But you said yourself life was an illusion. So what is the difference then, in transferring a living being from one illusion to another?  
You twist my words!  
I twist nothing. There is nothing to twist, because you can never win. Every way you choose, there is only the ultimate defeat.  
You know nothing of who I am!  
And you do?  
I-  
Perhaps you should ask why I know what I know.  
I don't care! I don't-  
Because we are the same, you and I. I am you. Don't you understand. Fool. You war with yourself and you can never win. The illusion is the same. I am you and you are me and this is the monster you have become.  
No. No._  
Trapped in a prison of my own making and I could feel the dead fetus touching me against my chest and the bittersweet taste of birth fluid on my lips.  
Do not deny it.  
I am-  
You are not!  
Parting the waters, searching for the light.  
_It is not all illusion. Because it if was, then there would be no life. And I cannot believe that.  
He would say that you twist your own words, then. As so you do. You are floundering in an ocean of lies.  
He…I…Na…Naka…_  
There was light. Faces from the light, gentle eyes and strength. A woman's hands. I knew her.  
A name.  
_Soi…_  
Yes.  
_He would say that. But she would not. And that is all that matters now. Because we are the same, she and I and you, and she believes what you do not.  
You contradict yourself!_  
Desperation.  
_No! I know the truth now! And the truth is not illusion!  
You-  
I am-  
You are-  
I am Seiryuu seishi Tomo. And I believe in reality!_  
I burst through the light and the water and took in all the air my starving lungs could hold. There was a shriek and I felt black wings brush my head and my hair and suddenly the water and the light was gone and there was only the cold rock floor and the bluish tinge of light filtering in through tiny windows somewhere, black and damp and cold.  
It was quiet.  
For a moment I was frozen, still. Then I blinked. There was rock beneath my knees and my arms were cold. I was lying on a rocky floor…  
It had just been a nightmare. That was all. A nightmare.  
Miboshi's castle. That was where I was. I touched the floor with trembling fingers. There was no blood, no fetus, no river.  
For what seemed like eternity I knelt on the floor of the castle I had been tricked into entering, tricked into surrendering my mind, gasping for air and feeling the warm tears run down my cheeks and onto the floor. It was nothing, all those scenes, only in my mind. The voices, the dead fetus and the emperor, the pounding waters of the icy river.  
Feeling a little better, I sat back on my heels and tried to piece together what had happened. Miboshi must be some mind controller, able to create spells to trap any unsuspecting beings in a web of their own memories and thoughts. At least that was what I hoped had happened. It was the only conclusion.  
Those were my memories, then, and my thoughts, in which he had trapped me and made me suffer. What if I hadn't been able to break free? What if I hadn't been strong enough? Would I have lived an eternity in my own mind, battling him feebly? Would I have died?  
He was powerful, this Miboshi. I understood Nakago's warning now. If I had not been strong enough, if I hadn't been able to resist his relentless probing of my own subconsciousness, I would have died.  
And then we would not be able to call Seiryuu.  
There was a time when I would not have cared if I lived or died. Before this.  
I stood up, grasping the cold and damp rock wall to help me keep my balance. My knees still felt weak. Had I lain here the whole time, unconscious? It was a frightening thought.  
The visions of the blood and the mysterious voice in my mind came back, and I shivered. The voice had been him, I knew. Miboshi, trying to kill me, or at least permanently put me out of the game.  
The words of the ghostly voices on the trail came back to me, and I smiled grimly. I had faced the feared "master," and I had lived.  
As much as I could claim to living.  
I felt the smile fade. What exactly had been those visions I had seen, when I had been under Miboshi's control? The river and the voice…was that my mother? It was a woman. I closed my eyes. She said she hated me before throwing me into the waters…hadn't she?  
She'd said she was sorry.  
The emperor fantasy was a strange one. Nakago was the one who wanted to be emperor, a god. Not I. I had not wanted anything of the sort. The words of the man who had spoken to me about illusion and life and death were words I had spoken to Nakago, to Soi, twisted out of my own mouth. Life, I had believed, had told myself I had believed, was just a meaningless prelude to death. Life was pain, and death was release.  
Except I had never told Nakago or Soi about my feelings on life, had I? Love, emotion, the great world…but never my thoughts on life as the greatest illusion of all, illusion without purpose, without fulfillment.  
Was it because I had never truly believed that myself?  
I heard myself speaking to the advisor in my vision, to the man who had never really existed at all and who was but a mere extension of my own unconscious self.  
_Life is an illusion.  
I cannot believe that_, he had said. Was that me, who had said that? Arguing against myself as I had in that disturbing third vision?  
Except that hadn't been myself in the third one, but Miboshi pretending to be me, pretending to be Tomo's other half and so corrupt and entangle me. He was cunning, Miboshi. By pretending to be my thoughts and my beliefs, he could have hopelessly trapped me. I could have gone insane by his relentless manipulation. Which of course was probably what he had wanted, to mire me in the depths of my own confused thoughts, the thoughts that I hadn't really even known existed.  
But it hadn't worked. Why? How had I been able to break free?  
_It is not all illusion. Because it if was, then there would be no life. And I cannot believe that.  
He would say that you twist your own words, then. As so you do. You are floundering in an ocean of lies._  
My legs trembled and my arms could no longer brace myself against the wall so I slid down to the floor again, staring at nothing.  
I had…I had broken free. It was clear now. Because I didn't really believe that life was an illusion after all. The Tomo I knew thought things he didn't believe, said things he didn't mean, hid behind a mask of words and lies. Miboshi had pretended to be Tomo, but the Tomo he was masquerading as was but an illusion for my true self to hide behind. And Miboshi hadn't been able to see that, in the end.  
And that was what had defeated him. Because no matter how good the other seishi was at his twisted games, I was the master of illusion.  
I sighed shakily, trying to stop my fingers from trembling. That didn't really matter, did it? In the end, he had almost defeated me, using my own feelings, my own private emotions against me. It was more a feeling of being violated than anything else. My own memories. Nakago, and Soi…  
Oh gods. Soi.  
I had forgotten about her. She had to be under Miboshi's spell also, trapped somewhere within these castle walls. I couldn't sense her chi-hell, I couldn't sense anything here. I could search for a thousand years and never find her.  
Of course, I had no doubt that was Miboshi's plan all along.  
I clenched my hands into fists, the anger strangely helping calm my shaking, and stood once more. My clothing was torn and dirty, but there was no time for vanity now. If I lost Soi, Nakago would never forgive me, and-  
I sighed. It was time to stop lying to myself. It had been like that at the beginning…at the beginning, but not anymore. Something had happened on the way here, in the forest, between her and I. She was the only one on this earth who truly knew me now, perhaps better than I even knew myself. If I lost her…  
If I lost her, I would never forgive myself.  
"You're getting soft, Tomo," I muttered to myself, brushing bits of dried mud from my shirt and taking a wary look at my surroundings. There wasn't much. A dank, dusty corridor, leading into the blackness. A tiny window at the top of one high wall, letting in gray light. It was still daylight outside, then. If Miboshi was like me or any of the Seiryuu seishi, he would work best when darkness fell. I couldn't tell what time of day it was from the light, but it was safe to assume I did not have much time.  
I closed my eyes briefly, whispering a prayer to the god whom I professed to serve, even if I still had my doubts. If he really existed, Seiryuu, if he was truly the one granting me my power, he would help me find Soi. Wouldn't he?  
Would he intervene to protect one of his chosen ones against an enemy, even if the enemy was another of his chosen ones?  
Too many questions.  
I began to walk, ignoring the blackness and the sense of foreboding that grew stronger with every step. I had defeated Miboshi once. Surely I could do so again.

  
**Bai Hua E  
Haku Kaen**

"I've always been strong."  
I was standing before the emperor of Kutou and he was staring at me with a strange light in his eyes.  
"Have you?"  
"What do you want with me?"  
He stood from his throne and I watched as he descended the many stairs leading from the throne to the floor where I stood small and humble.  
"Come with me."  
I followed obediently as he swept out of the audience chamber and into a smaller hallway that led to a small set of double doors at the end. Watched as he unlocked them and motioned me in.  
"Come here," he said.  
My feet seemed to move of their own accord and I moved mechanically until I was standing by his side at a large table on which a long scroll was unrolled. The paper was brittle and yellow with age, but it seemed to crackle with a strange power as my eyes met its pages.  
"Do you know what this is?"  
I shook my head. "No, heika-sama."  
He touched it with one finger, reverently. "This is called the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho. The Four Gods Sky and Earth, the book of the beast dragon god Seiryuu."  
Seiryuu?  
I met the emperor's gaze and he smiled, and suddenly my blood turned cold. And as he reached out a hand to touch my shoulder, I could not look away.  
"This book," he whispered, drawing me close. My feet stumbled nearer to him. I flinched. "This book will give me the ultimate power." One hand traced my cheekbone roughly.  
"I will be the strongest man in the world."  
I drew a shuddering breath. "You're wrong."  
His eyes held me and one finger stroked my lips. When he spoke his voice was light, teasing. "Oh? Why is that?"  
"A book-" I clenched my teeth, trying to suppress the shivers running through me. Trying to break away, but his grip was stronger than iron. "A book can never make you strong." I felt his lips nuzzling my neck and my breath came in cold pants and the fear ran down my spine. "To be strong…to be strong you must earn the right to be!"  
His teeth raked a bloody line down my throat and I suppressed a startled cry. "And I suppose," he said, his voice hoarse and muffled against my neck, "you think you have earned that right."  
"I-"  
The slap was unexpected and my head snapped back with the force of his blow. "You bitch," his voice said. A hand moved to the bodice of my dress and I heard the tearing of fabric. "You are nothing but a whore."  
"Stop!" I begged, struggling against his hands. "Stop! Please!"  
"How strong are you, my pretty one?" The voice came lower now, and hard, sweaty hands pinched my breasts. I whimpered. His wet mouth tore at my flesh. "How strong are you?"  
Black spots swam before my eyes and I wanted to die.  
_Not this again. Not this. Anything but this._  
"The truth is," the whisper said, "you are just a weak woman. Weak. Weak."  
_Weak. Weak._  
"Soi!"  
I jerked my head. That voice…  
"You are weak."  
I cried out.  
"Soi! Soi! Wake up! Soi!"  
"I-"  
"You are nothing but a whore!"  
"Soi! Don't listen to him!"  
I knew that voice. Somewhere, somehow.  
"Soi, defeat the memories. That's all they are-memories!"  
Seiryuu.  
A flash of blue light and blue power, and the groping hands were gone and I was standing alone in an infinite plane of blue stretching towards the horizon. The glowing scroll was the sky and the earth and I was standing between.  
"Soi!"  
"I am Seiryuu shichi seishi Soi," I said, "and I will not be manipulated!"  
Another flash, this time brighter than the light of a million suns and when I closed my eyes I could still see the light blinding me. I was falling.  
Falling…  
Strong arms supporting me and I was standing on something solid. I felt drained. My legs were like water and I would have fallen to the floor if not for…  
I opened my eyes slowly, stared into golden almond ones. I blinked. If not for the eyes, I would not have recognized him without the paint. Still.  
"T-Tomo?"  
The emperor's chamber was gone. It was a drab darkness we stood in.  
He lowered me gently to the floor, setting me against the wall. He looked drained as well, dark circles under his eyes and a weariness in his movements I had never seen in Tomo before.  
"Soi, don't do that again."  
"What happened?" I said weakly. The hallway we were in was dark except for small stream of light coming from a window high above.  
"What do you remember?" he said quietly.  
I closed my eyes. "I…" The visions came tumbling back-the brothel in which I used to work, the mirror and…Opening them quickly. "Gods, Tomo. What happened?"  
"Miboshi happened," he said, sliding down to the wall next to me. "We fell into his trap, Soi. He controlled us…manipulated us."  
"Gods…" The words of that last vision, or nightmare, whichever it had been, came back to me. "Was that you? Your voice? In my mind?"  
Tomo actually looked surprised. "You heard me?"  
I nodded absently, touching my neck where the imaginary emperor had bitten me, feeling the smooth flesh. I shivered. "I don't-I don't understand. Why-how-"  
"Miboshi seems to have the ability to enter others' minds and bodies and take control of them. He entered ours…controlled our memories to make us imagine things that weren't there."  
"Illusions?"  
Tomo shook his head. "Not illusions. Miboshi can't create illusions, as far as I can tell, but he can twist reality to suit his own whims." He sighed. I sagged against the wall, the full impact of the things I had seen filling my mind.  
"Tomo," I said, my voice sounded small and frightened. I could feel tears start to form and I knew I was shaking, but I couldn't stop. "I thought I'd never see you again…when I lost you in the fog…and then he found me…there were…I saw…I saw myself die. I..they buried me. Alive. But I was dead. I…I was-" The tears fell. "I don't know-they said I was-"  
Tentative arms came around me and I wept for all that had never been but could have been. I heard his voice in my ear, whispering.  
"Soi. It's all right. It wasn't real."  
I swallowed. "It wasn't real…but it could have been..."  
"But it's not. Listen." Hands took hold of my shoulders firmly and twisted so I was looking into his face, his eyes, through my tears. "Soi, if we're going to defeat Miboshi, remember what is reality and what isn't. That's the only way you can face him and win. You are a strong woman, Soi."  
"No." Shaking my head. "No. I'm weak. He said-"  
"Dammit!" I jumped at Tomo's forceful words and he drew a deep breath. For the first time I took a good look at him through my misty vision and noticed how tired and drained he looked. His eyes were red outside the golden amber irises. "I don't care what he said. That's all past and gone now. You have faced him once, and you can do it again. You're strong. You broke free."  
"Only because you were there," I said softly. Tracing the stone with one finger. "I wasn't strong enough."  
He stood suddenly.  
"Tomo?"  
"Sometimes," he said, "being strong means relying on the ones who are there being strong for you."  
"What-"  
"Soi! Get down!"  
I didn't ask, just flattened myself against the rock floor as he also dove for the floor where I was. I felt an overwhelming surge in chi and a blue glow filled the hallway. A strange humming buzzed through the rocks I lay on, and I felt the immense dark presence of…something.  
"Most amusing," a pleasant voice said.  
I raised my head from the floor, dared to look up. I gasped. The hallway had become a vast cavern bathed in blue light. In the center of the cavern stood a tall figure dressed in priestly garments, silhouetted in blue light, carrying a prayer wheel, eyes closed.  
I didn't have to ask his identity.  
"Miboshi," Tomo ground from between his teeth. The edge in his voice was frightening.  
The figure opened its eyes. "You have found me," it said. Male? Female? "Or rather, would it be better to say I have found you?"  
"Enough with the mind games!" Tomo snapped. "I've had too much of your stupid manipulations! You will come with us!"  
The figure threw back its head and laughed. "So soon? You are brave and foolish to command me so."  
I heard movement before I saw it, before they emerged from the shadows of the corners of the cavern-rows and rows of priests, surrounding us and their leader who stood in the middle with prayer wheel upraised like the weapon of the wrath of the gods. I took a step forwards, but Tomo grabbed me, dragging me back.  
"Tomo-"  
"Enough!" The voice was booming, echoing, powerful. "You have come seeking me, and you have found me."  
The eyes of the priest glittered in the blue light. "I am Seiryuu shichi seishi Miboshi," he said. "You wish me to go with you back to your petty country?"  
"We need you to summon Seiryuu!"  
"And if I refuse?"  
"If you refuse," Tomo growled, "I will-"  
He stopped. Miboshi laughed. "Ah. That is the crux, isn't it? Nothing you can do to me, if you wish to summon your precious god. You need me alive and well. I, on the other hand-"  
He raised one hand and suddenly the floor erupted and needles pierced my skin as I was lifted above the floor by writhing tentacles. From the corner of my eye, I saw Tomo captured the same way as I was, without hope of escape. I could hear Miboshi's laughter.  
"You-" I shouted, grimacing as the tentacles squeezed me tighter until I could not breathe. "We have already fought you!"  
"On the contrary," Miboshi said, from the floor so far away, prayer wheel still raised high. The ring of priests closed in around the monstrosity of tentacles, and Miboshi smiled.  
"The battle has only begun." 


	8. Scene 7: The Battle

_Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu._

  
** QI::SCENE VII**  
Da Zhang  
The Battle

_Liu Li Hua suddenly appears and slinks toward the Zan Ton Quai's quarters. Running his hands around the the shape of the officer's foot, the innkeeper mistakes it for Zan Ton Quai's head. Drawing out his knife, he slashes the heel of Zan Ton Quai's boot, thinking it is his victim's neck.  
Confused in the pitch dark of his room, Zan Ton Quai gradually perceives that someone else is there with him and begins crawling about. Hearing noises, Liu Li Hua also begins slowly sensing his way about the dark room. Zan Tan Quai suddenly realizes he is kneeling nose to nose with his attacker.  
Jumping to their feet, they square off for hand to hand combat which spills out into the dark hallway, where Chiao Tsan becomes innocently entangled in the battle. He and Zan Ton Quai begin to pursue the innkeeper, who has tried to sneak off.  
Realizing he is being chased, Liu Li Hua climbs up a stack of four tables, and somersaults down to the stage, where he is killed by the two officers._

**Tomoboshi  
The Root**

I couldn't breathe as the coiled tentacles of the monster squeezed me tighter, and through my blurred vision I could see Soi had stopped moving.  
I could give up. I could acknowledge defeat, what Miboshi wanted. But I had a duty to fulfill, and I would never give up.  
My shin was in my pocket…to far to reach, but perhaps…  
The rocks exploded again and another tentacled monster crawled from the ruined floor towards the one that held us both captive. Howling, it launched itself upwards, catching the first and shaking it. I closed my eyes, concentrating. If this did not work, we were both dead.  
And then I felt myself sailing through the air to a jarring fall on the rocky floor.  
"Soi!"  
And my concentration wavered and the second monster vanished. I fumbled in my pocket for my shin before I felt the surge of chi which signaled Miboshi's preparation to summon another monster.  
"Not bad," I heard his voice say calmly above the bellows of the tentacled monster.  
"Bastard!"  
I launched fire at him from my shin, but he dodged it easily. The smile on his face infuriated me. I shot the fire again and still he dodged. He could sense my chi, the same as I could sense his, and it was warning him as to my every move. He was no master of illusion, but he was coming close.  
Well, if he wanted illusion, he would have it.  
Grasping my shin, I directed the chi not at him, but at me and at Soi, focusing. In one instant we were standing in our travel-worn, bloodstained clothes, and the next we were transformed. Soi's armor was brilliant, shining, and my jing costume as new as the first day I had worn it.  
If we were going to fight, I would at least show Miboshi the illusion of power he craved from both of us.  
Another surge of chi, not as powerful this time, and I whirled around just in time to see Soi raise one armor-clad arm.  
"Hakuujin RAIHOU!"  
The roof of the cavern cracked and broke completely, falling to the floor in a cloud of dust and I could feel the crackle of electricity and roar of thunder from outside. A flash and an explosion of rock. Something struck me in the back and I cried out in pain.  
"Tomo!"

  
**Soiboshi  
The Tassel**

He had been hit in the back, and I could see the rock lodged between his shoulder blades, sharp as any knife. He cried out and fell to the ground. I could see no sign of Miboshi, but something as simple as my lightning attack could not have killed him.  
"Tomo! Tomo!"  
"Ah…" he groaned, climbing back to his feet, the pain evident in his eyes. "Miboshi, you BASTARD!"  
The blue light reappeared and Miboshi with it. The priest was bleeding a bit from cut down the left side of his face, but otherwise he was as cool and composed as ever. "I merely give you what you want."  
"Rot in hell!" Silver daggers shot from the air beside Tomo, one pinning Miboshi in the shoulder and another in his arm. The priest staggered and almost fell, but kept his balance. There was a panic in the mocking gaze that had not been there before. A good sign?  
I raised my arms again, but he dodged the lightning. The storm clouds were still there and I could feel the wind coming in through the caved in ceiling.  
"Soi! Look out!"  
I ducked, and something sailed over my head. Landing in a combat crouch, I looked behind to see one of the other priests holding a knife, crouched in what would have been a killing stance if I had been one second too late.  
I raised my arms once more. I would not succumb to the wishes of this wayward seishi turned magician who wanted nothing less than my life. It was not right.  
"Hakuujin RAIHO!"

  
**Tomoboshi  
The Root**

I dodged as Soi's blast attack struck the spot where Miboshi had been standing seconds earlier. Except he was not there any longer. I circled warily, hearing his soft laughter from somewhere close by, but not seeing him. Ducked as one of the priests came at me with a long knife. With one deft twist of the shin, he had collapsed on the floor of the cavern, moaning in pain.  
"Come out, Miboshi!"  
"Oh, but I already have."  
Too late I felt the pressure on my neck. The grip was unearthly and I could not have broken it if I tried. My shin fell from my suddenly nerveless fingers and my body went limp as expert fingers applied pressure to the points in my neck.  
I looked into his face, into his catlike slitted eyes, and felt nothing but a great contempt.  
"Poor thing," Miboshi said, his smile deadly. "You should not have challenged me. It was all illusion, as I said."  
Everything seemed to have ceased except for the movement of his mouth and his voice in my ears. Time was at a standstill. I was suspended in a moment in eternity, endlessly waiting.  
"Even life," Miboshi whispered. "You know that, don't you?"  
"No…" I whispered. I couldn't hold the illusions much longer. They flickered. Those eyes smiled cruelly.  
"But you do." The cold blade of a dagger tickled my cheek. "There is no reality. And if illusion and reality are the same thing…"  
"But they aren't," I choked, projecting my certainty into my voice. "Not at all. You know that. Life...has meaning..."  
Miboshi frowned.  
  
"If illusion and reality…were...the same…you would have my….power…"  
"Silence!" Miboshi thundered. "It is irrelevant now!"  
A shadow moved, and suddenly behind the priest I could see Soi, grappling with one of the other priests, dagger in hand, looking straight at me. And then I knew.  
"Because there is…such a thing as reality…" I pushed on, meeting his eyes and refusing to let them go. "Because reality…is life!"  
And Soi struck just as I could hold the illusions no longer, as her battle armor and my opera dress vanished and her hand striking the dagger down into Miboshi's back was stained with dirt and human blood.  
Miboshi's body went rigid, and I fell to the ground, released from his grip. Soi's wide eyes met mine, and in them I saw fear.  
"You were wrong about me," Soi said, a hard edge to her voice. "I am strong. Strong enough to protect the ones I care for!"  
Miboshi opened his mouth. Once, twice. A trickle of red spittle dribbled from the corner, and then he closed his eyes.  
"Tomo…Tomo…I think I killed him!"  
I froze in shock.  
Miboshi slumped to the ground and the blue light began to fade.  
"I…"  
"Tomo…what do we do now?" She sounded like a lost child. "Tomo?"  
I saw the scenes of our journey flash before my eyes. Leaving Kutou palace. The forest in which we had shared so much. The village and the mountains of ghosts. The nightmares. Soi.  
Nakago.  
_Nakago-sama…_  
We had failed him.

  
**Soiboshi  
The Tassel**

I stood, holding the dagger in my numbed hand, looking at the corpse of the one for whom we had come such a long way.  
My fault…my fault.  
"Soi."  
I didn't answer.  
"It's not your fault."  
"I-"  
"Not your fault, indeed."  
I drew a sharp breath, whirling around to face this new threat. Blue light flared around something floating in mid-air.  
"A great battle."  
It was a child priest, dressed in the same garments as the other priests but in green and yellow and red, holding a prayer wheel and smiling. I knew that smile.  
I gasped.  
"Mi-Miboshi?"  
Behind me, Tomo's voice was disbelieving. "That's impossible."  
I glanced to my right, at the body of the priest who had been Miboshi, lying like a broken doll on the rocks. The child priest laughed.  
"Impossible it is."  
The voice was different, but it was unmistakable. It was Miboshi.  
"You-"  
I saw Tomo clench his fists, but Miboshi simply blinked. "The battle is over. Tomo."  
"What do you mean?" I said, not quite believing that this seishi who could not die was simply going to let us go.  
"It would be useless to fight anymore, wouldn't it?" he said. He gave me a glance, then Tomo. The cavern was deadly quiet. The ranks of priests had reformed themselves, but now behind him and not surrounding us like a trap. Was it possible…?  
"You've managed to kill me," Miboshi said. The voice was still mocking, but I could feel no threat from the new but yet familiar chi that emanated from the child's form. "That has never been accomplished before. No small feat."  
The prayer wheel began to spin, and the strange humming filled the cave again.  
"You amuse me." The slitted eyes slanted in a sort of smile that sent shivers up my spine. "I suppose I could go with you. It grows tiring here in the mountains, alone."

  
**Tomoboshi  
The Root**

We emerged from the monastery a little bit before dawn.  
I knew it was dawn because of the telltale chill. Evening does not have that dead quality that the time before the dawn does. Evening is vibrant, living, full of secrets and breathing and wildness.  
Soi was limping a little, but other than that was fine. Nakago would have nothing to complain about. I had taken care of her, as he asked, and had suffered only a back wound and cuts and bruises for it.  
I glanced at her as we started down the slope. Miboshi was already a small speck in the distance ahead, and I was more than glad to let him go. He had promised me he would wait for us at the bottom of the hillsides and we would return to the capital together. I could think of no reason for him to break his bond, and I wanted to take it slow down the mountainside, for Soi's sake. And my own. We were dirty, tired, drained both physically and emotionally. And not all of us could float on air.  
"Tomo?"  
"What?"  
She laughed, a little wearily. "I remember a time when you wouldn't have answered me at all."  
I shrugged. "Things are a little different now, aren't they?"  
"I suppose."  
The landscape was still the same rocky lifeless ground we had walked before, but there were no mists, no lights or voices or oppressiveness. It had all vanished with Miboshi's departure from the place.  
"Didn't that seem a little too easy to you?"  
I considered. "Why?"  
"After all this effort…he suddenly decides to go with us. Just like that. It seems too easy to me."  
"Maybe so. But he is here now, and that is all that matters."  
"I suppose." She drew a deep breath. "Or maybe he's tired of fighting. Don't you ever get tired of fighting?"  
"All the time," I said.  
"So do I."  
"Miboshi taught me that, I suppose." My lip twisted. "Ironic, isn't it? Invading my mind and digging up my thoughts."  
"Still," she said. She stumbled on a rock and then righted herself as I took her arm to steady her, releasing her when it looked like she had her balance. "Nakago will be pleased."  
The light changed and I could tell the sun was about to rise. "He will."  
"You did it all for him, didn't you? He told you to take care of me."  
The self-punishing tone was back in her voice, and I caught her arm again. She frowned at me.  
"I did it for him. Of course. At the beginning, all for him." That seemed such a long time ago. "But somehow along the way…" I had to force myself to say it. "Also for you."  
She stopped walking. "What?"  
"For you," I repeated. Amazing how much easier the words came out the second time. "And for me. It was the great crossroads, don't you realize? Traveling together. We had to go forward one way or the other. There were not too many choices, but I think we chose the right one."  
"You're quite the poet, Tomo."  
The familiar sarcastic banter in her tone crossed off one more worry off the private list in my head. Soi was still the Soi I knew. She would be fine.  
"Still," she said, sounding reflective. "You have a point. As you often seem to have, nowadays."  
The first rays of sun climbed up over the hill, sprinkling everything with gold. I shrugged. "I learned that when we were traveling in the forest. We all wear masks, don't we? Illusions. But sometimes we can learn to take that mask off and not be afraid of what lies beneath."  
"What if I can't?" she whispered. "Nakago…"  
"Nakago will be Nakago. I still love him. I always will. So will you. And I will always wear a mask and carry scars under it, as I told you." The words came out with perfect ease now. It felt right, standing here like this, telling her this. For some reason, it felt strangely fitting. "But I think I understand what he was trying to do now, putting us together like this. And I think he was right."  
Soi smiled slightly, and I almost smiled back at her. Almost. I still could not bring myself to do that yet. I would give myself time...with time, anything could be accomplished. Now that life was perhaps no longer the great illusion it had been.  
The sun caught the red highlights in her hair, blazing. "He was right. I know."  
"I did it for him," I said again, staring into the rising sun and the evaporating darkness, where the raging dragon god who controlled all our destinies awaited us. "For him, for you, and for me."  
Turning, I looked down the trail that stretched into eternity and then beyond between heaven and earth and all in between.  
"For all of us." 


	9. Story Notes

**NOTES (written to the inspirational tune of Duo Maxwell's _KITTO OK!_) on _The Crossroads_: 7 out of 7 parts completed 1 August 2000**

THESE NOTES HAVE MAJOR SPOILERS FOR _THE CROSSROADS_. IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU READ THE FANFICTION BEFORE READING THE NOTES FOR THE SAKE OF CLARITY AS WELL AS PLOT.

Writing _The Crossroads_ was like nothing I had ever attempted before, even in my own attempts to write an original fiction novel. The whole fanfic reads more like a stand-alone novel, with Tomo and Soi and Miboshi acting as stand-in characters. I could easily have subbed in original characters, taken out the FY emphasis, and I would have had a rather short novel in itself.

But that's beside the point. Why DID I choose such an ambitious undertaking on such an odd choice of characters and plot? Well, the answer itself is quite simple. There are not nearly enough Tomo or Soi fics out there, and not nearly enough of them exploring Tomo and Soi's relationship. I'm not talking about a sexual or romantic relationship, or even friendship. This is merely a working kind of partnership, or, as some would put it, rivalry. I wrote _Crossroads_ to partly undermine the notion that Tomo and Soi were rivals, and partly to support it. If that makes sense. My belief is that while they WERE rivals (for Nakago, for attention, etc.) they did not hate each other as some fans and/or websites have made it out to sound.

The references to Nakago, to their life at Kutou palace...all that I threw in to highlight the fact that they did have things in common and to keep them on their goal. Both Tomo and Soi, as I see them, are ambitious and very powerful seishi. That ambition and power, if directed towards a single goal, can have very potent results, as demonstrated in _Crossroads_.

However, I didn't write this to be a mere demonstration of what Tomo and Soi could do. _Crossroads_ is also more of a philosophical dialogue on Tomo and Soi's thoughts on love, life, being seishi, and just their thoughts in general. I've always wanted a chance to develop already well-known characters like this, and Tomo and Soi were prime targets. You'll see them change throughout the seven chapters, and hopefully my character development was not terribly out-of character. I wanted to show them as they matured through a short period of time, showing them as their feelings towards their mission, their lives, and each other underwent radical change. I hope I managed to do that.

_The Crossroads_, as mentioned on the splash page for the fic, is actually a Chinese (Beijing) Opera. As Tomo was a Chinese Opera actor/singer/dancer, I chose to base the story on an opera to kind of symbolize the themes of past, present, and future all meeting in one (a crossroads). You'll see Opera themes coming up now and again in the fic. Hopefully they won't seem too out of place in an anime fanfic. (A side note: the name of the innkeeper in the opera, Liu Li Hua, means "Smooth Tongue" or "Glib Tongue" in Chinese.)The Chin ese characters at the beginning of each section break, the Chinese chapter titles, and the other Chinese references all stem from the Beijing opera setting. Sadly, I have no idea when this particular opera was written, though it's probably not very modern. I was aiming for something more ancient, since FY is set in ancient China. Any information on _The Crossroads_ Beijing Opera would be extremely helpful.

I want to mention a few highlights from my writing experience with _The Crossroads_, parts of the fic that really struck me while I was writing or reading it over. WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! This fic is actually not AU and supposed to be set somewhere in between Nakago sending Amiboshi to Konan and the Seiryuu setting out to find the shinzahos. Fit it in how you will.

Chapter 1 is not really much of anything. It introduces Soi and Tomo as they are perceived in the eye of the FY fan: bitter, rivals, sparring to see who can make who angry. You'll notice the pervasive theme of Nakago. At the beginning here, it is Nakago who keeps the two of them together on this mission.

Chapter 2 is one of the best things, in my opinion, that I have ever written. Not in terms of plot, but in terms of character development. Because of the plot structure of the particular opera I modeled the story after, I didn't have the luxury of developing the characters in two or three chapters. It had to be done in one long chapter, and at first I thought that was an impossible task. Of course, if you haven't figured that out by now, I delight in impossible tasks. At first it really was impossible. The first two sections were a pain to write and I simply didn't know where to go with the story. Then the writing inspiriation struck and I just couldn't seem to stop writing. Tomo and Soi wrote themselves, basically. I used Nakago a lot here too, as well as the themes of masks and illusions. Masks because of Tomo's paint, which by taking off he undergoes a sort of rite of passage. Illusions pertain to Tomo's seishi power. Soi's and Tomo's sparring about masks and illusions and paint and singing might seem a bit redundant, but I tried to weave the theme throughout the chapter that to work together, masks and illusions of the past had to come off both of them. Tomo's singing is like that also, as well as his paint and other remnants of his opera past. At the beginning of the chapter, Soi has to sneak over to the sleeping Tomo to see him without his paint. At the end, he takes it off willingly. This is an indication of their growth and trust towards each other. Soi's mask, as she said, is Nakago. He is her paint, the thing she hides behind to pretend to herself and the world that she is strong enough by herself.

You'll notice that I seem to focus a bit more on Tomo than Soi. No philosophical reason for this: I just like Tomo more than Soi. ^_^

[Tomo: KAKAKAKAKAKA]

The next few chapters are like chapter 1: fillers. The separation of Soi and Tomo was a bad bad idea, and by the time I realized it, I had already written too far ahead and it was too late to change it. I might still if I feel like it, but right now I'm too lazy to do anything about it. Still, since the main characters are separate in the opera, I supposed I should do it sooner in the fic, but it turned out that separating them was a mistake. There are ghosts and demons on the path to Miboshi's castle, and they decide to arrive separately? Yeah right. But it makes for a good plot device. The journey to Miboshi's castle is a test of both of their wills. Tomo and Soi have both been strengthened by their ordeals in the forest, where they were working together. Separate, their limits become clear. Even Tomo does have his limits, believe it or not. Soi is weaker than Tomo, and I show this by having Miboshi suck her in by having the ground collapse from under her, while Tomo just calmly is invited in. Chapter 5's title, "The Foundation," has nothing to do with Miboshi's castle, but is the translation of Tomo's seishi name in Chinese.

Chapter 6 is another turning point chapter. This focuses on the two seishis' past and their inner thoughts. Through Miboshi's manipulations, I wanted to show the turmoil inside their minds and the struggles they had to go through. Another "rite of passage," if you will. In Tomo's case, this included the scene with his mother throwing him into the river to drown him (he was later found by a dancer and named Ryo Chuin), the emperor vision, and the fetus vision. The emperor scene might seem incongrous because, as Tomo said himself, it's Nakago who wants to be ruler of everything, not Tomo. But Tomo is in love with Nakago, and don't we consciously or unconsciously wish to emulate the people we love? Also, Tomo is extremely powerful, and the emperor vision shows the raw hunger for power that might have been if Nakago had not been there to be the leader for the Seiryuu shichi seishi. The emperor represents the epitome of power and glory and human accomplishment. The fetus, on the other hand, is the primordial side of man, the primal instincts that every human is born with and never entirely extinguishes. Tomo's mental battle with Miboshi there goes back to illusion and masks. His final ability to admit that there is more to life than just mere illusion-that there really is reason for him to live-enables him to break free of Miboshi's hold. That is his epiphany, his point of understanding.

Soi experiences visions also: the brothel where she grew up, the vision of the glass mirrors, and the vision of the emperor of Kutou. I suppose the brothel is self-explanatory. With the glass mirrors I wanted to show Soi's preoccupation with how others see her. She is a woman, and with her upbringing more vulnerable to criticism than others. Nakago, as I said earlier, protects her from all that. The mirror scene shows Nakago stripped away. The voice (Miboshi) telling her that Nakago would never love someone like her forces her to analyze how she would appear to herself and to others if she did not have Nakago. Thus the disturbing insect stuff (gomen if you have a weak stomach). The emperor scene has as much to do with strength as with Nakago. The emperor I suppose is a weird mix of the men at the brothel and Nakago, who (on the surface at least) want Soi for what her body can do for them. Soi's comments that she is strong represent what she wants to believe (and what she really is), but of course Miboshi tries to refute that claim, telling her she's only good for her body and nothing else. When she is rescued by Tomo, Soi is still filled with doubts about her worth.

The section titles of chapter 6 are just the seishi's real names in Chinese and then in Japanese. I did that to make it clear who was dreaming what. It got a little confusing, even for me, when I was editing.

Chapter 7 brings everything together. The battle with Miboshi reveals Tomo and Soi's characters: their willingness to work together to accomplish a goal, their single-minded focus and their strength. The part where Soi stabs Miboshi and Tomo releases the illusion of their clothing is, I suppose, the climax, the high point, of the story. Soi finds that she is the strong woman she longs to be, and Tomo finds that there is reality beyond his illusion world, after all. That is what the fic has been building towards, really: the letting go of old ideas and the construction of new.

The end of the fic is kind of just tying everything together. No more character development...that's been done. Tomo and Soi have resolved most things-not all things. They are not totally comfortable with each other yet. I believe they are both intensely private people, and a week is hardly enough time to get to know each other. Besides, there is still a bit of rivalry over Nakago going on, as Tomo indicates. I'd like to think that with their deaths in the TV series, they took a whole hoard of hidden secrets they had never shared with anyone else.

But it's fun to imagine what these two characters would do in a situation like this. That's the whole reason for writing fanfiction, isn't it? After rereading _The Crossroads_, I think it might be too sappily philosophical at parts, but overall, I'm happy with what I wrote. It's been an interesting ride, and I'm glad I wrote it.

Tomo and Soi like comments at lordofmerentha@yahoo.com. 


End file.
